Not a great convo with a Dom - screenshots

[Punpkin]

Edit: just realized I might have posted this in the wrong section and idk how to move it, pls help.

Well folks I came across another one. Another Dom that has messaged me and was in some manner inappropriate, tho I have to give him credit for not being as terrible as the other I met before.

I am making this post to vent and bring awareness about what how conversations can go and what platform/websites they might be found on. Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.

A couple of screenshots were left out due to either having the image/picture of one another or due to the only 10 pic/post rule and it got a bit redundant.

Given his last message I feel a bit odd, do I really breach privacy by sharing a conversation where a vague location and Kik username are? Should I censor it? If I censor it then the awareness might not achieve its whole point. Idk I'm confused and annoyed ATM.

EDIT: after talking to some people I have realized that sharing the screenshots with the person's Kik name was a shitty thing to do on my part and I'd like to apologize for that. I will edit the images to remove any names, images or locations and repost them later.

 

[Angelic_Fire]

Thank you so much for posting these. You are amazing!

I used to find myself in similar conversations, but I wasn't strong enough or cared enough about myself to set limits (particularly about pics and vids) and stick to them. I never wanted to send pics the first time I was asked, but I did because I thought I could win the guy's affection. So by the time the next guy asked, I thought, I've done it before, why should I be allowed to say no this time. And so it went on...
But now, I take comfort in the fact that I have grown and I am allowed to stand up for myself, if I need to.

That's the end of my ramble and if you read this far, give yourself a hug!

 

[QwertyAsdfgh]

It’s a shame that there are people out there that seem to think that they are the only ones that deserve respect and everything handed to them on a plate.
I hope the both of you can find someone that respects you and deserves your submission.
good luck.

 

[oddjobber]

Thanks for sharing these and warning others about this creep and his make believe anna friend.

 

[Magnetic]

Why are you making such a fuss about this?

True, you are entitled to have your limits, but so is Dan. The problem was that apparently, he forgot to ask you yours at the start, that would have ensured that he reached the exact same conclusion that he reached after a long while, apparently a few days. He did set forth a rule on early morning greetings, which I have found to be a counter productive rule since it decreases the amount of attraction from the slave girl, not necessarily a slave boy since this is a bad rule because of CIS female nature.

However, when he noticed that you did broke his limits, he cut you off immediately. He also had limits, and you had set your so that they where incompatible with his. There was no way both of you could play.

The only threat he did you was that, if you broke his privacy in publishing this chat, he will report you. I hope he does!

 

[Punpkin]

Why are you making such a fuss about this?

True, you are entitled to have your limits, but so is Dan. The problem was that apparently, he forgot to ask you yours at the start, that would have ensured that he reached the exact same conclusion that he reached after a long while, apparently a few days. He did set forth a rule on early morning greetings, which I have found to be a counter productive rule since it decreases the amount of attraction from the slave girl, not necessarily a slave boy since this is a bad rule because of CIS female nature.

However, when he noticed that you did broke his limits, he cut you off immediately. He also had limits, and you had set your so that they where incompatible with his. There was no way both of you could play.

The only threat he did you was that, if you broke his privacy in publishing this chat, he will report you. I hope he does!

The issue is that a lot of Doms expect online subs to send pics or vids whenever they ask for it regardless of how long they've known each other and he said that that's how online stuff works which I believe is wrong to expect that. If you look a little bit above, someone else made a comment that they sent pics to online Doms when they weren't comfortable because they weren't strong enough to set their boundaries. I'm doing this post for people in situations like those to find some strength to speak out loud and stand their ground.

I agree that I'm probably overreacting and I did say in my post that he isn't as bad as my previous vents or posts. I'm posting stories or comments about uncomfortable or bad encounters with Doms to let subs know that they don't have to take abuse if they don't want to and for Doms to understand that certain things are not okay.

In regards to the "threat", I didn't feel threatened I just felt he was rude and didn't do his part as a Dom that's looking for a sub.

 

[Magnetic]

The issue is that a lot of Doms expect online subs to send pics or vids whenever they ask for it regardless of how long they've known each other and he said that that's how online stuff works which I believe is wrong to expect that. If you look a little bit above, someone else made a comment that they sent pics to online Doms when they weren't comfortable because they weren't strong enough to set their boundaries. I'm doing this post for people in situations like those to find some strength to speak out loud and stand their ground.

Yes, I read that comment. I found it sorry, as I believe also that she should have stuck to her limits. But she did it anyway, so now she should live it up. Nobody forced her to do it. The worst that could happen to her was that she lost the Dom, like you did. With that in mind, I find her complaint childish also.

Stand their ground? What do you mean?

The Dom requested you to send him pictures. You denied them to him, which was your right. Instead of insisting, he told you that you sending the pictures was one of his limits, so he ended up the situation between you two.

Indeed, the entire situation would have ended amicable, if it wasn't for your infantile reaction.

I agree that I'm probably overreacting and I did say in my post that he isn't as bad as my previous vents or posts. I'm posting stories or comments about uncomfortable or bad encounters with Doms to let subs know that they don't have to take abuse if they don't want to and for Doms to understand that certain things are not okay.

He did. If you read the entire conversation, let me refresh it to you:

You started making your limits clear:

"Ok. Before we start, pics and vids are a limit to me."

He accepted them:

"Okk."

And he asked for a clarification:

"Not even with face?"

You replied:

"Thanks for wasting my time."

He accepted your conditions and then he blocked you. You know what that reminds me off?

In regards to the "threat", I didn't feel threatened I just felt he was rude and didn't do his part as a Dom that's looking for a sub.

True. But you didn't do yours as a sub looking for a Dom either, mainly to put your limits on the clear... That was one thing that you where both guilty of. You get the worst of the fault, since had he had it his way your cut would have been on good terms while since you reacted that way so much drama came out of it...

Drama? Oh, yes... That is one thing girls cannot live without!

 

[submissivegal87]

He didn't do anything wrong in my opinion. I think you just got your panties in a twist because he ended the convo not you.

 

[nina]

Will share my thoughts on this objectively

Going through the above posts but having not seen the screenshots as the OP has edited first post, this is what I understand : conversation with potential play partner ended abruptly and inappropriately when OP shared her limit that she didn't share pics/vids, as the other person claimed that it was then his limit that she didn't and he then blocked OP.

I agree with the OP that it is inappropriate in the sense of being unusual at the minimum and it is alright to share such experiences for spreading awareness (provided privacy is protected) and for the following reasons

1. Figuring out incompatibility due to clashing limits is completely fine but cutting off abruptly and blocking is a bit rude unless someone is harassing you etc

2. While anything can be a limit, (hard) limits are generally more about the person themselves and what they won't do rather than what they won't accept from the other person (which are generally more to do with ethics).

3. Again limits are generally a negation or something that is not to be done rather than something that compulsorily needs to be done. So a condition that I won't play unless the other person shares pics is rather a mandatory requirement than a limit, and it is alright to have requirements, afterall everyone is here to have a good time, however logically the two cannot be morally equated.

4. There are many things (including kinks/limits) that evolve with time and trust and to stop and block abruptly based on pic sharing limit in the first instance seems to give an impression that pic/vid was a major incentive to communicate (as girls having pics as limits is not such an unexpected/ uncommon limit in these forums)

I am not judging the situation or either of the people involved in the conversation since I do not know them and it would be unfair to comment.

I am simply posting this as a logical and objective observation of what I understand from the discourse above

 

[Punpkin]

Yes, I read that comment. I found it sorry, as I believe also that she should have stuck to her limits. But she did it anyway, so now she should live it up. Nobody forced her to do it. The worst that could happen to her was that she lost the Dom, like you did. With that in mind, I find her complaint childish also.

Stand their ground? What do you mean?

The Dom requested you to send him pictures. You denied them to him, which was your right. Instead of insisting, he told you that you sending the pictures was one of his limits, so he ended up the situation between you two.

Indeed, the entire situation would have ended amicable, if it wasn't for your infantile reaction.



He did. If you read the entire conversation, let me refresh it to you:

You started making your limits clear:

"Ok. Before we start, pics and vids are a limit to me."

He accepted them:

"Okk."

And he asked for a clarification:

"Not even with face?"

You replied:

"Thanks for wasting my time."

He accepted your conditions and then he blocked you. You know what that reminds me off?



True. But you didn't do yours as a sub looking for a Dom either, mainly to put your limits on the clear... That was one thing that you where both guilty of. You get the worst of the fault, since had he had it his way your cut would have been on good terms while since you reacted that way so much drama came out of it...

Drama? Oh, yes... That is one thing girls cannot live without!

Okay, we have different opinions on the matter. I felt he was rude throughout the entire conversation and I don't tolerate rudeness.

You're right, I should've mentioned my limits way earlier, that's entirely my fault. The issue is that there's been too many Doms I met that would become incredibly verbally abusive when they're told I'm not sending them any of that or stories I heard from other subs in similar situations.

If I were to be entirely honest I believe I overreacted with this whole thing because of previous way worse experiences and what I've done (sharing the screenshots) was undeserved.

Also I wanted to clarify one other thing: he was the one who replied "thanks for wasting my time" and then I said that "I ask you what you expect from a sub u never mentioned anything like that til now. So I feel I wasted mine". I do agree I should've let it go way earlier and mention my limits earlier but he also showed no interest in knowing their potential sub and said I wasted their time for not wanting to share pics and vids.

At the end of it I believe we're both in the wrong (me and him). I don't want to continue arguing since it seems pointless. I just wanted to reply to your comments.

Oh and please don't generalise all women to like drama. I admit I do enjoy it occasionally but not all women are all about drama. So don't generalize them all cuz of me.

 

[Angelic_Fire]

Yes, I read that comment. I found it sorry, as I believe also that she should have stuck to her limits. But she did it anyway, so now she should live it up. Nobody forced her to do it. The worst that could happen to her was that she lost the Dom, like you did. With that in mind, I find her complaint childish also.

Stand their ground? What do you mean?

The Dom requested you to send him pictures. You denied them to him, which was your right. Instead of insisting, he told you that you sending the pictures was one of his limits, so he ended up the situation between you two.

Indeed, the entire situation would have ended amicable, if it wasn't for your infantile reaction.



He did. If you read the entire conversation, let me refresh it to you:

You started making your limits clear:

"Ok. Before we start, pics and vids are a limit to me."

He accepted them:

"Okk."

And he asked for a clarification:

"Not even with face?"

You replied:

"Thanks for wasting my time."

He accepted your conditions and then he blocked you. You know what that reminds me off?



True. But you didn't do yours as a sub looking for a Dom either, mainly to put your limits on the clear... That was one thing that you where both guilty of. You get the worst of the fault, since had he had it his way your cut would have been on good terms while since you reacted that way so much drama came out of it...

Drama? Oh, yes... That is one thing girls cannot live without!

I shouldn't have been asked for pics. I was a minor. And everyone that ever asked for pics knew that. Yes, I should have set limits and stuck to them but why should I when absolutely no one cared about me anyway?
This is why posts like this are important, for the subs out there who don't think they're worth anything because every single dom they come across will use them and discard them as if they're worth nothing, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

 

[Magnetic]

Oh and please don't generalise all women to like drama. I admit I do enjoy it occasionally but not all women are all about drama. So don't generalize them all cuz of me.

Normally I would leave it at that, but you made this other tangent pointy that keeps me replying, but to it only.

I did not say that all women like drama because of you... I said it because all women love drama. Or at least 99.99999% of them do.

What evidence do I have to make such a claim?

Well, take a look at the statistics of book sold and read throughout of history. The most frequently purchased book is the Bible, but most of them end up doing an important dust collection operation. What's number two, and number one that is actually read?

Romantic comedy, or in other words, romantic drama. It is far ahead of male intended porn. Guess what? These particular books are purchased almost exclusively by women.

Take a look at the "female friendly" category of video, audios, etc... Without a fail, it contains drama instead of violent scenes.

I rest my case.

 

[Magnetic]

He didn't do anything wrong in my opinion. I think you just got your panties in a twist because he ended the convo not you.

Exactly!

 

[nina]

Normally I would leave it at that, but you made this other tangent pointy that keeps me replying, but to it only.

I did not say that all women like drama because of you... I said it because all women love drama. Or at least 99.99999% of them do.

What evidence do I have to make such a claim?

Well, take a look at the statistics of book sold and read throughout of history. The most frequently purchased book is the Bible, but most of them end up doing an important dust collection operation. What's number two, and number one that is actually read?

Romantic comedy, or in other words, romantic drama. It is far ahead of male intended porn. Guess what? These particular books are purchased almost exclusively by women.

Take a look at the "female friendly" category of video, audios, etc... Without a fail, it contains drama instead of violent scenes.

I rest my case.

Without digressing the thread by arguing about out of context things, will just point out that the logical fallacy problem with the evidence is
All A are liked by B doesn't mean that all B like A

 

[subzzzero]

Damn, I'm late to the party. Its pretty hard to know without the screenshots .
I personally have no issue with people naming shaming for the general good of the public. IF it was shown fairly, which might be hard to do when its a long kik convo. Things are easy to delete and fabricate( to clarify i am not saying this is what OP did). As long as it was a legit true screenshot showing the before and what led up to it and not just a biased one side screen capping then i think it is fair game. I have no issue if a sub i was speaking to posted my convos. I am the same person in public as i am in private i have nothing to hide.
As far as the pics discussion, that should be cleared during the negotiation time and cleared up prior to proceeding with someone. As a general statement if any limits not mentioned at the start come up during the dynamic then both sides should stop, discuss, and evaluate how to go forward. I will say I am one who prefers to be upfront and say "this isnt working or isnt a good match and we need to end things" vs dragging them along with one side or the other unhappy.

 

[Magnetic]

Damn, I'm late to the party. Its pretty hard to know without the screenshots .
I personally have no issue with people naming shaming for the general good of the public. IF it was shown fairly, which might be hard to do when its a long kik convo. Things are easy to delete and fabricate( to clarify i am not saying this is what OP did). As long as it was a legit true screenshot showing the before and what led up to it and not just a biased one side screen capping then i think it is fair game. I have no issue if a sub i was speaking to posted my convos. I am the same person in public as i am in private i have nothing to hide.
As far as the pics discussion, that should be cleared during the negotiation time and cleared up prior to proceeding with someone. As a general statement if any limits not mentioned at the start come up during the dynamic then both sides should stop, discuss, and evaluate how to go forward. I will say I am one who prefers to be upfront and say "this isnt working or isnt a good match and we need to end things" vs dragging them along with one side or the other unhappy.

Exactly, @subzzzero.

@Punpkin was just devastated that the conversation was ended by him, and not by her. Typical female behavior. They have to be the source of the all drama around them. If we cut them of that honor, they are pissed!

That was the whole deal, do not worry about it.

 

[subzzzero]

Exactly, @subzzzero.

@Punpkin was just devastated that the conversation was ended by him, and not by her. Typical female behavior. They have to be the source of the all drama around them. If we cut them of that honor, they are pissed!

That was the whole deal, do not worry about it.

No, i am in no way saying "typical female behavior" nor am i placing blame to either side. I am glad it was posted to help warn others. Do not lump me into your "they and us" assumptions. I do not feel that way at all.