My partner is an experienced, Poly, Sub...
I am a new, mono, Dom...
Ive been non-mono my whole life, meaning mostly "Friennys wit Bennies"... but I never LOVED any of them.
My current partner and I have fallen DEEPLY in love, the both of us, but she is Poly, and recently requested to have another dom in her life. Having no doubts, I told her "Absolutely", and within 12 hours, was in this new doms bed.
At first, I was ecstatic for her... in my mind I was like, "Fuck yeah bby, have fun!". However, afterward... I found myself feeling massive amounts of regret and jealousy. Feelings Ive never felt before. Ive had 4 other poly partners, but none I would say I truly loved. This feels different to me, even before I realized it..
After their 2nd encounter, as we were about to be intimate, my love tells me all the graphic sexual details of what her dom and her did the day before. NSFW: Cuffed her ankles to her wrists and fucked her with a strap-on, while choking her, and fucked her so hard, her ass and vagina were super sore and we couldn't be intimate the next day... ect, ect... and at first I was like, "Wow, that sounds amazing...", but my brain kept imagining that scene over and over...
For WEEKS after, I couldn't get that scene out of my mind. No matter how much I tried, no matter how many times I got high or drunk to try and forget it. No matter how many scenes Ive done with her since... that wont leave my mind, and I can't even feel aroused anymore, because its constantly playing in my mind.
I asked my partner to not tell me about her other partners interactions with her, ESPECIALLY not any deets on sexual encounters. That seemed to be okay at first... but then she tells me after we spend the night together, "My Dom wants to invite her male partner into a 3some with me, that sounds fun!"
Absolute, mental break...
At first, I wanted to be supportive, and just say, "Wow, that sounds like it will be a blast!"
The rest of the day, as I sat alone with my thoughts, it blew up like an emotional BOMB in my psyche.
For context, my partner is a full lesbian, as am I. She doesn't find men attractive, and neither do I, Her other partner is a female Dom who has 2 other male partners. When they were last together, she asked my partner if she'd like to have a 3some with her, and one of her male partners... and my partner thought it would be fun.
Im honestly horrified, confused, and ultimately feeling lost. Like how should I feel about this.
I told my partner how I felt, and she seemed confused at first, like I was being weird... like, "Why would you feel odd about me fucking around with complete strangers, especially men I have never even met?!?". Like that wasnt a normal thing for a person to be upset or confused about, especially one that loves you.
Am I the asshole here? I just don't understand this kind of poly relationship.
My previous poly partners:
1. NEVER told me about their sexual exploits/experiences with other partners
2. NEVER asked me to be happy/celebrate the bruises/scratches/cuts/wounds that another partner gave them, especially while we are being intimate together.
3. NEVER gotten so banged up by a partner the day before, that we couldn't be intimate the next day.
4. NEVER asked me to be okay with them having sex with a complete stranger (a man), and just be chill with that.
My partner is VERY sexually active, and has engaged in these kinds of activities before, but not since falling in love with me. It's been a year, and I am starting to feel insecure, scared, and quite frankly insanely jealous. How do I deal with these feelings?
What I WANT to say is: "You can have all the BDSM you want, but NO SEX with others... especially men you dont even know, or havent even met before".
However that makes me feel like a dictator, and a complete asshole, especially when I KNEW she was poly from the first day we dated. That being said, hearing about her sexual exploits, and thinking of her with a man, ESPECIALLY one she doesn't even know... fucks with my head in a way I can't even express. All i know is, I fucking HATE it, and never want these feelings to grip my heart again.
ALL that being said... does anyone have any advice, on how to cope with these feelings of jealousy? Or at least a better way to deal, than just drink/smoke weed till I forget? Honestly, I can't even get aroused with my partner anymore, unless im so blasted outta my mind that I can barely remember my own name. All because I can't get the image of her, and her other partner fucking out of my mind. TO BE CLEAR, this lvl of jealously has NEVER happened to me before, and i want to know how to overcome it. It was effortless before, but now I wanna cry everytime I think about it.
I am a new, mono, Dom...
Ive been non-mono my whole life, meaning mostly "Friennys wit Bennies"... but I never LOVED any of them.
My current partner and I have fallen DEEPLY in love, the both of us, but she is Poly, and recently requested to have another dom in her life. Having no doubts, I told her "Absolutely", and within 12 hours, was in this new doms bed.
At first, I was ecstatic for her... in my mind I was like, "Fuck yeah bby, have fun!". However, afterward... I found myself feeling massive amounts of regret and jealousy. Feelings Ive never felt before. Ive had 4 other poly partners, but none I would say I truly loved. This feels different to me, even before I realized it..
After their 2nd encounter, as we were about to be intimate, my love tells me all the graphic sexual details of what her dom and her did the day before. NSFW: Cuffed her ankles to her wrists and fucked her with a strap-on, while choking her, and fucked her so hard, her ass and vagina were super sore and we couldn't be intimate the next day... ect, ect... and at first I was like, "Wow, that sounds amazing...", but my brain kept imagining that scene over and over...
For WEEKS after, I couldn't get that scene out of my mind. No matter how much I tried, no matter how many times I got high or drunk to try and forget it. No matter how many scenes Ive done with her since... that wont leave my mind, and I can't even feel aroused anymore, because its constantly playing in my mind.
I asked my partner to not tell me about her other partners interactions with her, ESPECIALLY not any deets on sexual encounters. That seemed to be okay at first... but then she tells me after we spend the night together, "My Dom wants to invite her male partner into a 3some with me, that sounds fun!"
Absolute, mental break...
At first, I wanted to be supportive, and just say, "Wow, that sounds like it will be a blast!"
The rest of the day, as I sat alone with my thoughts, it blew up like an emotional BOMB in my psyche.
For context, my partner is a full lesbian, as am I. She doesn't find men attractive, and neither do I, Her other partner is a female Dom who has 2 other male partners. When they were last together, she asked my partner if she'd like to have a 3some with her, and one of her male partners... and my partner thought it would be fun.
Im honestly horrified, confused, and ultimately feeling lost. Like how should I feel about this.
I told my partner how I felt, and she seemed confused at first, like I was being weird... like, "Why would you feel odd about me fucking around with complete strangers, especially men I have never even met?!?". Like that wasnt a normal thing for a person to be upset or confused about, especially one that loves you.
Am I the asshole here? I just don't understand this kind of poly relationship.
My previous poly partners:
1. NEVER told me about their sexual exploits/experiences with other partners
2. NEVER asked me to be happy/celebrate the bruises/scratches/cuts/wounds that another partner gave them, especially while we are being intimate together.
3. NEVER gotten so banged up by a partner the day before, that we couldn't be intimate the next day.
4. NEVER asked me to be okay with them having sex with a complete stranger (a man), and just be chill with that.
My partner is VERY sexually active, and has engaged in these kinds of activities before, but not since falling in love with me. It's been a year, and I am starting to feel insecure, scared, and quite frankly insanely jealous. How do I deal with these feelings?
What I WANT to say is: "You can have all the BDSM you want, but NO SEX with others... especially men you dont even know, or havent even met before".
However that makes me feel like a dictator, and a complete asshole, especially when I KNEW she was poly from the first day we dated. That being said, hearing about her sexual exploits, and thinking of her with a man, ESPECIALLY one she doesn't even know... fucks with my head in a way I can't even express. All i know is, I fucking HATE it, and never want these feelings to grip my heart again.
ALL that being said... does anyone have any advice, on how to cope with these feelings of jealousy? Or at least a better way to deal, than just drink/smoke weed till I forget? Honestly, I can't even get aroused with my partner anymore, unless im so blasted outta my mind that I can barely remember my own name. All because I can't get the image of her, and her other partner fucking out of my mind. TO BE CLEAR, this lvl of jealously has NEVER happened to me before, and i want to know how to overcome it. It was effortless before, but now I wanna cry everytime I think about it.
