Questions for Switches

[nina]

How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

I first explored my submissive side. A couple of years (a brief hiatus from kinks) later I started developing a slight dominant mindset towards a friend in our interactions which was reciprocated and decided to explore my dominant side too

I prefer different roles with different partners

I would generally enter into D/s dynamic with a pure subby or a pure dommey mindset only.

 

[kaylessa]

How did you discover that you were a switch?

I always thought I was submissve and only submissive. It all started well before puberty when I always identified with the captives in films and books. I imagined myself being captive and enjoyed the feeling. In fact my first explorations of sexual things derived from that.

Years later I found out that I'm also in a somewhat dominant role. I love to blindfold others. I love to put handcuffs on others. But I lean to the submissive side. My dream scenario is being the slave responsible for dealing punishment to other slaves on command of a dominant one.

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

In one of my former relationships I discovered that it's very difficult (at least for some people) to be submissive to somebody who already submitted to them. That said I am able to switch with the same partner and I already did so within my current relationship.

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

In my current relationship we love vanilla sex as well, so it's kind of a negotiation thing. We default to vanilla sex though.

 

[MissKubo]

How did you discover that you were a switch?

I didn't even realize I was until my husband pointed it out, but the way I like to take charge with him is different to the way we like him to take charge of me. I'm happy to be tied, spanked, made his little slut et al.

I like to give him hard-ons in really inappropriate places, tease him, get him horny. In the bedroom, I like to ride him and try and deny him orgasm so I can get as many of mine from him as possible. Sometimes I like to lock him out and only let him back in when he's stripped naked. I don't like to tie him or "hurt" him (he doesn't really hurt me as such, we like spanking/whipping play, wax play, tight bondage, etc, but actually my pain threshold is quite low).

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Whenever we play with others in our group, I'm submissive. Sometimes I'm involved in the restraining, teasing, tormenting and/or pleasuring of the other subs, but only if I'm asked to do so by the Dommes or Doms. There are some people on KinkTalk that like to engage in discussions with me in the submissive role, but then occasionally I've given some ideas to other submissives in a more dominant capacity as well

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

My husband and I are pretty good at gauging what kind of mood each other is in, so it tends to be a natural thing. I can tell when he's had a new idea that he's thinking about discussing with me, he kind of has this quiet intensity along with a solid erection, and I guess it excites me that he's so excited about it that I go to being the submissive for him. I suppose if he's horny, or we both are together, I'll pretty much end up the sub unless he's tired and in the mood for letting me take charge. If I'm horny and he's concentrating on something else, then it's me that will usually take the lead, unless I'm specifically turned on by the thought of being submissive

 

[LuxiLuciferous]

First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help

Thanks for reading

Chloe

For me I'm more on the dominant side with most partners but if my partner is more dominating with me for that session or just in general I don't really mind. We usually decide based off mood and confidence and state of mind. I might be feeling a bit self conscious so I would bottom for example.

 

[Sissy4Abuse]

First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help

Thanks for reading

Chloe

These are not silly questions.

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch? For a long time i didn't think i was a switch i thought i was a submissive only. However, once my Dominant at the time offered me the chance to see what it was like on the other side. i accepted the offer and learned so much about my self in the process. i discovered that i truly enjoyed being on the Dominate side of things. i still prefer to be the submissive more than the Dominate in a relationship.

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners assign being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way? Honestly, when in a relationship i find it is easier and less muddled if we stick to the roles of one being the Dominate and the other being the submissive without swapping roles. So the answer for this question is different partners for different roles as that make keeping the headspace purest.

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub? i have found that while people may like being in both roles; in general, they have a preference for one over the other and the most successful relationships are with those people whom have the preference for the role you dont.

 

[AndreMaze]

I started off as submissive, which I found surprising because I'm so stubborn, but through online play, chats and the likes, I found I have some dominant attributes as well. And after exploring that side a bit and doing research, I found out what I was.

 

[Moodi]

Hey there, i'm looking for a woman (at least 40 years of age) that wants to play my mommy and care that her boy cums good and do things for her. Moodi_abbas on kik, feel free to add me.

 

[andrei]

Over the years I am still wondering: what exactly is a switch?

Is a switch dependable on a switch couple? Like both must have dominant and submissive desires?
Or just a lone feeling, like I prefere being submissive but I also feel like torturing someone makes me horny?
For example watching porn mixes your feelings, I really love to watch only girls in bondage, tortured, etc but I don't really feel like taking control if I am offered a real life scene.

Am I a switch or not?

 

[StormyDungeons]

First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help

Thanks for reading

Chloe

Your question although a good one is also cliched and stereotypical.

In a working relationship 2 people can be sexual equals.

That is the emerging trend and is adverse to the age old 1 dominant and 1 servant that dates to prehistoric ages.

Example - i like doing things to people that make them orgasm. I am very knowlegeable and erotically artistic which along with my darker macabre side makes me a great dungeon master.

But knowing what i do also has me wanting to experience most of those same things myself.

For me, being able to master being a master gives me certain insights on how to be on the receiving end as well.

Most of this stuff is done within a pay for play world and that is where your question is from.

It has little bearing on the real sex play world non pay.

That is why i said it was cliche and stereotype.

Real people just enjoy sex play. They never get so super involved and splitting hairs.

If it feels good, they accept it and move on.

You would think the fetish/kink/fantasy world would be more open and far less role stereotyping than society but unfortunately it is much worse and that is a serious black eye to us here that we need to work towards changing.

 

[Damokles]

I have been forced to learn many things in life the hard way. As a result, I learned to take control in order to protect myself. Later, I enjoyed dominating others, but I also enjoyed being the protector.
Because of my nature, those who needed that were drawn to me, and that's why I was always the dominant part.

For example, I play with toys on myself for better understanding. Trying it out on myself probably aroused curiosity. This and the longing to let go of the feeling led to all sorts of fantasies in my head.
That is why I see myself as a switch (interested).
Also because it is important to me to satisfy my partner's needs, sometimes more than my own.

Unfortunately, I haven't had the pleasure of finding another dominant person to explore this site with.
As cufflink wrote,

Most kinksters identify one way or another. I have even played with women that dug my dominating...but said if they were asked to top me or even witness me submitting in a party environment, for instance, they would lose all respect for me, and probably would have a hard time submitting to me again..

this was also a problem why there was never a change in current partners.

 

[Unmeasuredbounds]

First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help

Thanks for reading

Chloe

I am more of a sado masochist but I do enjoy either sub or dom role.
As dominate I tend to be a bit more nurturing easing my partner to explore their limits. I love when my female partner says she isnt really into anal. I work to change her opinion of it. I enjoy employing mild restraints and primal play with constant checks.
As a sub I am a more of a use and abuse me type.
I can be both roles with the same partner and often do.
There are certain partners that only one role is appropriate for.
Knowing your partner is takes time and effort. The more aged I become the more I focus or the total experience.

I prefer switch partners and for me that is ideal.