Reconnecting with a dom can go wrong

[AkiraCrow]

I had a dom I haven't spoken to in years reach out to me and tried to start up a relationship as if no time had passed. I thankfully am much more aware of my limits and desires now, so stopped it from going anywhere. Though I'll admit to almost taking him up on the invitation if it hadn't been for him demanding things of me before even talking to me as a person, or discussing limits since again it's been years and a lot can and has changed. This hasn't been the first time that a dominant has tried taking liberties just because we've played in the past but this was the first to try to start up a full power exchange.

Has anyone else come across this problem? Of someone they've had an ongoing d/s relationship with in the past try to start things up, or take liberties as if nothing has changed. If anyone has I'd like to hear about it. Or just a general discussion about reconnecting and what to look out for, especially since this isn't something I've really seen discussion around

 

[subzzzero]

Yes it happens and actually on both sides.

I remember every single sub I have had a dynamic with. Some ended mutually and we actually keep up as friends still. Some however flake or ghost or just outright got cut off due to behavior(cheating, lying etc)
6 months to a year will go by and on some messenger platform I’ll get a “hey” or “hi”.
My follow up is usually very blunt and it’s reminding them of why it all was ended and that’s pretty much it.

I hear subs talk about this same issue all the time. A Dom comes reaching back out after time as if the sub forgot he was a complete assbag. Then they step right back in thinking for some reason that they still have any rights to control of the sub. Not hey I screwed up or I apologize for said actions. More like hey slut send me nudes I own you.

I hate this type of person. I try to explain to every new sub experiencing it. They didn’t have the time and effort to stay active with you then. They got bored or needed more. But now suddenly none of that is an issue for them and they’re back to you because something is better than nothing.


My advice to both Dom and sub in this position. Do not reengage the person who left and is now back for their own selfish needs. This will only show that person that you will bend and give in. It will only encourage future reoccurrence. It devalues your needs and that’s not fair to you.

You all deserve better than that. Don’t settle for the assholes. Keep pushing and find the good ones. By denying them as OP has done this will start to show them the error of their ways and if everyone stood up to it they would be left with no choice but to straighten up their shit.