Should I stop and leave the community?

[silentnotes]

So, I struggle a lot with mental health issues and I can be very insecure. I'm working on it and I'm in therapy getting help. I just run into the same issues again and again. I'm very timid when it comes to sexual affection or intimacy because I had some bad experiences and I feel like I should just give up trying to be a part of the community because it just causes so many issues with other people.
I feel bad every time I just can't give what other people can without issue

 

[subzzzero]

Here is a good prior thread about mental health and bdsm

BDSM & Mental Health

I have always wondered about our Lifestyle and mental health. How are those who have mental disorders able to have a rich and satisfying experience short and long term? This is a topic I rarely see proper discussion about and I guess it is because mental health is something people generally...

www.kinktalk.com

I myself have experience with subs who have had PTSD, Bi polar, Anxiety, Depression, and others. The one thing they complained about most was when doms who didn't know how to handle them insisted they could anyways and it usually resulted in a negative experience for both sides. You really have to approach things from a different direction and be educated in the issues involved. A good friend of mine was with a "dom" and she had a panic attack in the middle of a session, she locked up in fetal position started grabbing at her neck and breathing heavy and choking. He had prior to claimed he knew about it all and could handle it. Instead he just got his things and left her there all alone.

Lots of people use the safety of a trusted partner to sort of recreate certain prior abuses with kink in hopes to take back that power from the abuser and connect the physical actions to a positive safe place. Cnc Choking anal bondage etc. The biggest thing is to be sure you go slowly and build a connection and trust just as you would in a non kink relationship.

Ultimately kink is best done in a good clear positive headspace. Not clouded with negatives or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

So if you feel you’re not personally ready for it at this time don’t force it. Take time work on you and when you feel better it will still be available. It’s hard to tell if you’re basing it on your own headspace or the concern of your mental health needs being too much for a potential Dom. So if you think it’s somethjng you stil want to explore find a potential with experience handing stuff like that.

Also on the therapy note. It helps if you can find a therapist who is kink friendly or knowledgable. It did wonders for some sub friends over the years finding one who could atleast understand the kink world.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

My opinion would be that withdrawing from something you enjoy, being part of the kink community is counterproductive. It seems to me from what you've said that the problem lies more with a lack of understanding from those you've partnered with.
This is a real problem on kink sites where opportunistic wannabe doms will place undue stress on you with unrealistic expectations and unhelpful comments. Finding a genuine compatible and sympathetic dom can be a daunting task at the best of times, trying to find one while your head is in turmoil must be awful.

I'd recommend you take the advice of @Nurse Pervert and channel your efforts into building up your self esteem and self love. If you find your kinky feelings awkward to handle or downright embarrassing then have a read of this post on dealing with guilt.
Being happy in your own skin, accepting who you are and the things you like is essential before you can embark on the journey into a fully fledged relationship. Because if you don't fully understand your wants and needs how will anyone else be able to?

And that brings me back to the start, here you will find many who have traveled the same journey as you. They have had the same doubts and fears, gone through the same messed up interactions with dopey doms and come out the other side with wisdom and knowledge you can tap in to. Here are your peers, your folks, your peeps. Discussing these kind of issues is the way forward, the way you'll discover you are not alone, you are not to blame, you just need to understand yourself better and it will all become clear.