Posts are made every day here from people wanting ideas, tasks, punishments and what have you. Sometimes they beg, often they're quite blunt but the gist is the same, "I'm new, I need some ideas for things to do."
For the most part I don't respond, but I do watch how they play out. The usual flow is there will be several posts of the "do you have kik?" variety and the odd suggestion of something to try.
All too often the original poster then responds, "got anything else?"
On occasions I'll pick the odd one and follow up just to see how it goes and, nine times out of ten it's the same shtick. Despite posting a creative suggestion to try the comeback is "ok, but got anything else?"
Now to me it seems kinda obvious that if you don't detail what kind of things you're interested in, what toys or equipment you have or what your living situation is you're going to get a fairly random response. Seriously, what do you think is going to happen? Out of the blue, some random on the internet will come up with the perfect suggestion for you?
But here's the rub, quite a few people here are experienced with bdsm, they have a good grasp of what works and what doesn't and in fact probably know better than you what will work for you. If you won't even try a task before asking for something else what incentive are you giving back to the person creating your tasks? Just because you don't get to cum in the first 5 minutes doesn't mean jack, a lot of bdsm works by building an experience out of small, accumulated things.
I know that's not what everyone wants but if you just want someone to guide you through masturbation then say so. If you ask for something painful expect it will hurt, if you ask for humiliating tasks expect they might seem pointless but remember, YOU ASKED FOR IT.
The biggest thing so many miss in all this is the obedience factor, if you ask "Tell me what do" then what are you expecting?
So for instance, "tell me what to do to my tits" is a pretty common type of request. But with only that to go on?
Without context it's a meaningless request. Obviously you don't want to fry your tits on a bbq but maybe going for a jog with peanut buttered boobs is actually ok, how are we supposed to know?
So when someone gives you a task that is middle of the road, maybe sounds a little boring how about just doing it and then coming back for more? Report, "that was interesting", give some details and then ask a little more specifically for the next idea.
An experienced practitioner of bdsm will start slowly and work up, it might seem silly but try the peanut butter and see what comes next, follow through on what you asked for. A big part of the kick for submissives is doing as they're told, it often doesn't matter what the task is, if you do it to make your Dom happy you get that positive feedback. Don't be impatient, a good Dom will be sounding you out, testing and probing to see how you respond.
This isn't an instant gratification hobby, if you wanna play, be prepared to play the longer game. I can guarantee it's worth it.
This isn't just some rant from me, I'm genuinely trying to start a conversation about this so if you don't agree say so. Tell me what your point of view is, this is how we learn from each other.
For the most part I don't respond, but I do watch how they play out. The usual flow is there will be several posts of the "do you have kik?" variety and the odd suggestion of something to try.
All too often the original poster then responds, "got anything else?"
On occasions I'll pick the odd one and follow up just to see how it goes and, nine times out of ten it's the same shtick. Despite posting a creative suggestion to try the comeback is "ok, but got anything else?"
Now to me it seems kinda obvious that if you don't detail what kind of things you're interested in, what toys or equipment you have or what your living situation is you're going to get a fairly random response. Seriously, what do you think is going to happen? Out of the blue, some random on the internet will come up with the perfect suggestion for you?
But here's the rub, quite a few people here are experienced with bdsm, they have a good grasp of what works and what doesn't and in fact probably know better than you what will work for you. If you won't even try a task before asking for something else what incentive are you giving back to the person creating your tasks? Just because you don't get to cum in the first 5 minutes doesn't mean jack, a lot of bdsm works by building an experience out of small, accumulated things.
I know that's not what everyone wants but if you just want someone to guide you through masturbation then say so. If you ask for something painful expect it will hurt, if you ask for humiliating tasks expect they might seem pointless but remember, YOU ASKED FOR IT.
The biggest thing so many miss in all this is the obedience factor, if you ask "Tell me what do" then what are you expecting?
So for instance, "tell me what to do to my tits" is a pretty common type of request. But with only that to go on?
- Smear them in peanut butter and go for a jog
- Smack them with a wooden spoon until they are so red and sore you can't see them for tears
- Shut them in a cupboard door
- Jump up and down so they slap you in the face
- Fry them on a bbq
- Rub them with olive oil until you go to sleep
- Stick fire ants in your bra
Without context it's a meaningless request. Obviously you don't want to fry your tits on a bbq but maybe going for a jog with peanut buttered boobs is actually ok, how are we supposed to know?
So when someone gives you a task that is middle of the road, maybe sounds a little boring how about just doing it and then coming back for more? Report, "that was interesting", give some details and then ask a little more specifically for the next idea.
An experienced practitioner of bdsm will start slowly and work up, it might seem silly but try the peanut butter and see what comes next, follow through on what you asked for. A big part of the kick for submissives is doing as they're told, it often doesn't matter what the task is, if you do it to make your Dom happy you get that positive feedback. Don't be impatient, a good Dom will be sounding you out, testing and probing to see how you respond.
This isn't an instant gratification hobby, if you wanna play, be prepared to play the longer game. I can guarantee it's worth it.
This isn't just some rant from me, I'm genuinely trying to start a conversation about this so if you don't agree say so. Tell me what your point of view is, this is how we learn from each other.
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