The nature of today's communication

[Damokles]

Since I haven't found anything about this, I thought I'd open this post.
Most of the people I am addressing will not read this post and maybe that's a good thing because I would really like a detailed and honest opinion on this and not just a few scraps of words. Because I am interested in a discussion and not a dog that could be spit off with a few pieces of meat (no offense to those who prefer pet play, whoever wants to be a dog is of course welcome to do so).

This will be a longer text and for all those who take the trouble to read through this and try to understand: thank you from the bottom of my heart.
P.s. English is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if it sounds a bit strange

What is my actual question? The short form:
Am I too old school or are there simply hardly any people who really still make an effort, can read properly and understand differences?

The long and important version so that you understand what I'm getting at.
I am curious by nature and always try to understand others as best I can.

We all know that there are fakes, but even those who are not fakes sometimes seem to me to be simply put: stupid.
I don't want to attack anyone personally and perhaps my standards are simply too high, but I keep reading posts and comments here that are of such a simple nature.
Men who think that just because they write to a submissive person that she belongs to them and follows everything without a will. Women who think that just because they exist and claim to be dominant that everyone will fall at their feet. People who reply to ads even though they don't even fulfill the criteria of the person who posted them and if they do, all they get is "I want", "add me on XY".

I understand that in some posts such as "Lovense Link" or "Kik slavemarket" exactly such short answers are expected. But otherwise I have the feeling that hardly anyone takes the trouble to really think and is able to formulate complete sentences.
I don't even want to start with these "I just open the same thread everywhere even if it doesn't belong there".

But there are also such small things that can perhaps be quickly overlooked. For example, differences between "sub" and "slave", "dom" and "master", "femdom" and "mistress", "top" and "bottom". I know these are "just" words and their meaning can change over time, but hardly anyone makes the effort to recognize or understand these differences.
When I read that a sub is sometimes called a slave.
Also the way some people communicate with each other here. Do people just want to be treated like that?
I miss a bit of mutual respect and some people also lack self-respect.


So am I too narrow-minded, am I too old school, am I alone with my views, am I overlooking something or do I simply have too high expectations?
Is this simply "normal" for today's short-lived times? Is it just normal that the attention span of some is just enough to type a few words.
Why are people like that?

I like to learn and would be happy to hear your opinion.

 

[subzzzero]

My personal view is a few things cause this.

Grammar and spelling issues. Text slang and quick shorter replies is based on text messaging. Short to the point rushed messages. Some apps and sites encouraged it. X (formerly Twitter for example.)

Why a person on here seems focused to the point and wants quick no effort play or seems to skip over the post specifics and goes right to their shallow usually sex focused one liner post of “kik me or dm me etc”
1. They see this as internet and there for it is usable disposable porn. Just as if watching a video. They don’t plan to invest in effort because they don’t see value in an online situation. Dynamic or otherwise.
2. They’re on here because they’re horny and think connected society will give them easy wins.
3. They were treated this way when they joined a site and think it’s the norm.
4. Fake it til you make it and cast a wide net. They have scored one win short as it may have been and might even been to a bot. But they consider it a win and think that’s the way.
5. A sub had their first interaction with type number 4 person above and think this is how kink goes. They in turn rush a dominant into an easy win and the cycle of 4 and 5 goes round and round.
6. Guys think porn is reality. There’s a ton of this type on here. Fantasy bdsm porn carefully staged, faked with angles and safety off camera, fake blood, fake hits, etc. They watch this and the 50 shades type garbage and think it’s real.
There was a time subs were thinking similar due to the falsities of that book and movie. There are plenty more like it. Usually written by people with zero bdsm experience.
7. They dont feel an online dynamic carries the same weight as an in person one.
8. Females both side of the slash are in it to make money because the ratio of male to female is greatly skewed. So guys get desperate and pay. Both to female sub or sugars and to dommes into findom. Every time someone pays other see it’s potential and it continues it’s cycle as well.
9. Guys are stupid. Self explanatory.
10. If you met this person in person and you got what you wanted. Ghosting is a bit harder when one knows your address phone etc. but online it’s random screen name and poof block delete recreate new. Untraceable.

The biggest by far issue I see is no one is held accountable. Show up to a munch in person and act like this you’ll be booted in seconds. And blacklisted for life. You have guys who go with “hey slut let’s fuck” etc. those same guys wouldn’t approach that same girl in person in public let alone would that be their opener for their first message.

If we start holding all the fakes, abusers, predators, disrespectful people accountable to their actions. Everyone around will see and cultural behavior will change for the better. But it takes every person who sees it to speak up. Who knows it’s wrong to say it’s wrong. This shows not only that person that they’re in the wrong but it shows all the quiet watchers who just as here to read and learn what is and isn’t acceptable. Then when they do explore they know better.
If subs would stop answering to the fake dominants. They would just fall off the community seeing as there’s no pay off. Hell maybe they’d go learn and get involved in it all the right way.
If guys would stop paying for services. Those services would be less commonplace. If everyone treated a person as a person first and foremost and not as a kink or a source is pics or sex we’d see a vast improvement.

 

[Damokles]

@subzzzero thank you very much for this wonderful answer and your effort. It was more than I expected and it was a pleasure to have text to read again.

I come from a time when you tried to pack as much information as possible into as little text as possible, because you still had to pay for every text message.
So I understand that you use abbreviations or get straight to the point. But in the past, you had to think about what and how to text someone.
Nowadays you are no longer limited in your characters and yet many just manage 1-3 words.

It's actually a shame that online communication is only determined by lust, but sexting can do so much more.
I'm not judging those who are just looking for a quick motivation to cum, but there are areas for that.
And it is precisely this that shows decency and respect. Words that many probably have to look up first.

3. They were treated this way when they joined a site and think it’s the norm.

I never thought about it like that, but of course it's logical. If you don't know any other way, you assume that this is the way.

In a forum where I was there was a monthly (negative) award for the dumbest dominant post (dumb-dom-award) and the most selfish sub post (selfish-sub-award)
Might be something for here too, so people can see how it shouldn't be done.
Then people who are new to the subject might not fall for such posts so quickly.

I was given 50 Shades back then because the person thought it was what I was interested in. I never finished reading it.
There are enough things that stimulate my imagination and can be very sexually arousing and I don't see anything wrong with that.
However, I also have to say that I make a clear distinction between reality and fantasy/fiction and people like that don't understand that.
Probably because they've never had serious relationships.

I have never understood paying for sex and I will never support it. For me, sexual interactions are always something that benefits both parties.
Otherwise, they are services and if you want something like that, you go to the relevant companies.

9. Guys are stupid. Self explanatory.

I just had to laugh

Ghosting. I had to google this word a few years ago when I read it for the first time.
And even today I still don't understand why you can't communicate openly and honestly whether it's a one-night stand or whether you're no longer interested in the other person or whatever.

The perceived security of anonymity on the Internet. An eternally complex and huge topic for which there are many pros and cons.
Unfortunately, we will not be able to hold them accountable and prevent them from creating a new account. You can only make it hard enough for them that the chances of success become less and less and the attempt is no longer worth the effort.

Prejudices are often viewed negatively, but in my work they are extremely important. Which is why I often have a certain gut feeling when I see people. In the course of life you get a very good sense of this. But they are just prejudices and they don't have to be right. And I like to be proven wrong or give the person the chance to convince me otherwise.
Online this is a bit more difficult and as English is not my first language, it can also be misinterpreted. As is the case with communication. What one person says doesn't necessarily come across exactly the same to the other person.
But I agree with you, you should put people in their place and educate them. I think I'm just too nice from time to time and don't want to appear disrespectful.

But I like the way I am and maybe some people see that as oldschool, but it's nice to read that I'm definitely not alone ^^