Tired of words

Kristen

Kinky Newbie
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  • Female
  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
Wondering when will I have a Dom and how do I find one in my area? Im sick of messaging I just want the real thing.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
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May 19, 2013
3,508
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You can post a full personal ad in the Connect section including rough area so you only attract people close to you.
Kink Talk isn't really designed as hookup forum hence the "Talk" bit in the name, perhaps try other sites such as fetlife and "the cage" as they are both more geared towards contacts and personal hookups.
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
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Dec 6, 2015
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Are you meaning “real thing” like local in person ? Or do you mean just the connection itself ?
If it’s more an in person local you’re seeking. Then fetlife allows you to search out groups by main cities and such. You can also just find local munches dungeons and meets if you want in person. If you’re seeking out an online dynamic then place ads that give a solid amount of detail. Likes dislikes limits expectations etc. The filtering process will take some time. Don’t just settle for a guy talking a good game or one who immediately starts ordering you around as if Hes earned that right. Ask lots of questions. Get details and specifics. If you don’t like the person then let them know, stop things, and continue on your search. Don’t let someone guilt you into staying when you don’t feel they’re a good match. Yes it sucks sometimes. It takes time. Yes you might find one good one out of every 50 or so. But they’re out there. Sometimes you just gotta keep your head up and keep searching.
Also your post on Saturday said you Had a master..... did that change ? Is that what you meant by being tired of words?
 
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Kristen

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
Are you meaning “real thing” like local in person ? Or do you mean just the connection itself ?
If it’s more an in person local you’re seeking. Then fetlife allows you to search out groups by main cities and such. You can also just find local munches dungeons and meets if you want in person. If you’re seeking out an online dynamic then place ads that give a solid amount of detail. Likes dislikes limits expectations etc. The filtering process will take some time. Don’t just settle for a guy talking a good game or one who immediately starts ordering you around as if Hes earned that right. Ask lots of questions. Get details and specifics. If you don’t like the person then let them know, stop things, and continue on your search. Don’t let someone guilt you into staying when you don’t feel they’re a good match. Yes it sucks sometimes. It takes time. Yes you might find one good one out of every 50 or so. But they’re out there. Sometimes you just gotta keep your head up and keep searching.
Also your post on Saturday said you Had a master..... did that change ? Is that what you meant by being tired of words?
Yes, unfortunately he went passed my comfort zone. Which I stated to him. But he didn't listen, so I just blocked him. He was in my area, and my type which is disappointing. He wouldn't meet up either and asked to much of me when I was already giving my all. He was on twenty minutes from me! Very frustrating. The only time he wanted to meet... he wanted me to be with him and his friend. Which I'm not comfortable with at all, especially when I haven't even met him. I would feel very unsafe with two strong guys.
 
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Kristen

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
You can post a full personal ad in the Connect section including rough area so you only attract people close to you.
Kink Talk isn't really designed as hookup forum hence the "Talk" bit in the name, perhaps try other sites such as fetlife and "the cage" as they are both more geared towards contacts and personal hookups.
Thank you for all your advice, and helpfulness. I appreciate it.
 

Rumamed

Kinky Newbie
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  • Switch
Jun 4, 2018
29
18
8
47
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, I'm sure you'll find someone. The probability that it will work the first time, the second time, the third time ...... is like winning the lottery. Don't give up, but it's good that you're careful
 
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Kristen

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, I'm sure you'll find someone. The probability that it will work the first time, the second time, the third time ...... is like winning the lottery. Don't give up, but it's good that you're careful
Thank you that is very kind.
 

Kristen

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
You can post a full personal ad in the Connect section including rough area so you only attract people close to you.
Kink Talk isn't really designed as hookup forum hence the "Talk" bit in the name, perhaps try other sites such as fetlife and "the cage" as they are both more geared towards contacts and personal hookups.
I'm on FetLife right now. It's amazing. Hehe
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,839
483
The only time he wanted to meet... he wanted me to be with him and his friend. Which I'm not comfortable with at all, especially when I haven't even met him. I would feel very unsafe with two strong guys.
BIG red flag there, you did the right thing. Any time a meet is suggested be sure to arrange it for somewhere very public and just for a meet and greet. Have a coffee and assess if this person seems sane and if you're willing to proceed further.
There are whole volumes on basic BDSM meeting safety which I'm sure are here somewhere, I'll link them later.
 
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Kristen

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
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  • Private
Mar 21, 2021
8
2
3
BIG red flag there, you did the right thing. Any time a meet is suggested be sure to arrange it for somewhere very public and just for a meet and greet. Have a coffee and assess if this person seems sane and if you're willing to proceed further.
There are whole volumes on basic BDSM meeting safety which I'm sure are here somewhere, I'll link them later.


BIG red flag there, you did the right thing. Any time a meet is suggested be sure to arrange it for somewhere very public and just for a meet and greet. Have a coffee and assess if this person seems sane and if you're willing to proceed further.
There are whole volumes on basic BDSM meeting safety which I'm sure are here somewhere, I'll link them later.
Exactly,
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
2,209
1,600
233
The whole lack of meeting up part usually suggests that the person is otherwise involved elsewhere whether it be gf wife or whatever. I hear lots of subs say it’s good online then when the in person meet time comes there’s already excuses or flakes on the guy side.
that whole wanting a threesome with no prior discussion or agreement is a huge red flag and I’m glad you got clear of him. Find the local groups on the other site. Take your time and find a good match. The wait is worth it. Play partners are easy to find. But dynamic partners take time and effort. It will all pay off on the long run. Keep sticking to your gut and your needs and find that match.
 

chokedncollared

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Mar 27, 2021
18
34
3
I met my owner in a bar. He was always a dominant type, but not part of the fetish world. I was always a submissive type, but not part of the fetish world. We both kept our fantasies to ourselves for many years... I don't remember how it came up, but we ended up finding out we both were always thinking of the same things, but didn't bring those things up to one another. My point being, you don't necessarily need someone who is currently "part of the fetish community" - not everyone who is into these things are on forums.
 

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