Too shy to ask for a new relationship, too tired to get to know with someone new

[Themostcherrypiee]

Maybe my title looks so hopless, but this is exactly how I'm feeling. Eager to be in a dynamic, too shy for asking it and too tired to get to know a new person. I feel I'm not enough for a sub, which leads to ignoring the Dominants who send me messages. I'm ready for relationship but the lack of confidence is something that is standing in my way like an obstacle. Who can I get over it?

 

[Themostcherrypiee]

Oh I needed to read those words, sometimes you know things but still need to be assured of the fact you think is the best. Thx for your time hun.

 

[An inactive user]

Great reply and just want to add you can see all replies via someone's profile. So if someone is always short in their messages like Kik me over PM me their probably not going to put in the same effort as you in your relationship and their probably after a quick fix.

 

[Themostcherrypiee]

You're welcome. You can always ask anything. @Doctor Pervert and i will be happy to help you and other members.

I'm so grateful for being in a community like this which there are kind people to help others.

 

[Themostcherrypiee]

Great reply and just want to add you can see all replies via someone's profile. So if someone is always short in their messages like Kik me over PM me their probably not going to put in the same effort as you in your relationship and their probably after a quick fix.

I believe in the exact fact too. Thx for your time.

 

[Naughty nova]

The right Dom will help you work through your worries. They will help you to gain confidence and grow as a sub. No Sub starts out perfect just like no Dom starts out perfect. You will both make mistakes. That's how we grow. Don't let your fears keep you from finding something amazing. Even a short term relationship can help you to grow and gain confidence. I have always had trouble with body confidence. My Daddy is helping me through that. Don't give up on finding the right Dom.

 

[bdsmfanatic]

Maybe my title looks so hopless, but this is exactly how I'm feeling. Eager to be in a dynamic, too shy for asking it and too tired to get to know a new person. I feel I'm not enough for a sub, which leads to ignoring the Dominants who send me messages. I'm ready for relationship but the lack of confidence is something that is standing in my way like an obstacle. Who can I get over it?

Confidence is a feeling that you develop through experience. The more you do something badly, the worse you feel about doing it again, so you burn out, as you have described here.

Say, if you were to try again and things don't go as you want, you'll again go back to not wanting to try again.

To first address "feeling enough", there's no inherent difference between someone who feels that they are enough and someone who feels they aren't. It's more about understanding who you are as a person, seeing your good qualities and your bad qualities. Sure, there may be 5 reasons as to why you aren't a good sub, but there may be 5 others as to why you are a really good sub. To go further, maybe there are people out there who wouldn't really see your flaws as "flaws" and think that those qualities make you more human and endearing!!

Now, if I were in your position, I would talk to someone about my insecurities (delving into my experiences and how they correlate to my current state of mind), and what I can realistically provide as a person in a dynamic rather than what I "should be able to" (aka how much a person who is enough can do).

 

[Themostcherrypiee]

The right Dom will help you work through your worries. They will help you to gain confidence and grow as a sub. No Sub starts out perfect just like no Dom starts out perfect. You will both make mistakes. That's how we grow. Don't let your fears keep you from finding something amazing. Even a short term relationship can help you to grow and gain confidence. I have always had trouble with body confidence. My Daddy is helping me through that. Don't give up on finding the right Dom.

Thx hun for sharing your thoughts and experience with me.

 

[bdsmfanatic]

Thx hun for sharing your thoughts and experience with me.

You're welcome : ))

 

[Themostcherrypiee]

Confidence is a feeling that you develop through experience. The more you do something badly, the worse you feel about doing it again, so you burn out, as you have described here.

Say, if you were to try again and things don't go as you want, you'll again go back to not wanting to try again.

To first address "feeling enough", there's no inherent difference between someone who feels that they are enough and someone who feels they aren't. It's more about understanding who you are as a person, seeing your good qualities and your bad qualities. Sure, there may be 5 reasons as to why you aren't a good sub, but there may be 5 others as to why you are a really good sub. To go further, maybe there are people out there who wouldn't really see your flaws as "flaws" and think that those qualities make you more human and endearing!!

Now, if I were in your position, I would talk to someone about my insecurities (delving into my experiences and how they correlate to my current state of mind), and what I can realistically provide as a person in a dynamic rather than what I "should be able to" (aka how much a person who is enough can do).

Thx for sharing your thoughts here. Recently I had other issues in my life non-bdsm-related and I was like let's find the root of it, so after talking to a friend of mine I got to a conclusion and found out what my problem is actually... Posting this thread and reading other's ideas on this matter, I was like yeah that's exactly the problem. Now I know it's more than serious.

 

[bdsmfanatic]

Thx for sharing your thoughts here. Recently I had other issues in my life non-bdsm-related and I was like let's find the root of it, so after talking to a friend of mine I got to a conclusion and found out what my problem is actually... Posting this thread and reading other's ideas on this matter, I was like yeah that's exactly the problem. Now I know it's more than serious.

Yess, I'm glad I could help