What are your thoughts on Fetlife?

[daddyloveone]

I am just looking to find out your personal views, success or failure that you experienced on that site.

This is not a shaming post. It's more of share your views both negative and positive.

Thanks.

 

[subzzzero]

I am just looking to find out your personal views, success or failure that you experienced on that site.

This is not a shaming post. It's more of share your views both negative and positive.

Thanks.

I posted my numbers in a prior post.
Short version. Millions more people so a more fish in the sea approach. But it has recently become filled with onlyfans advertising spam. So many “kinky” profiles sounding legit. On contact it’s “subscribe to my OF for more and to dominate me”

The one thing it is good for is finding local groups for munches and meets since so many people are on and most
Major cities have a few groups devoted to them. It’s easier than word of mouth locally.

As far as finding a sub match for a dynamic online or irl it’s about the same results as any other site. Since the numbers may be 100s of thousands larger there. You have more chances but you also compete against that many more as well. More people similar ratios as any site.

 

[poetrylover828]

I am just looking to find out your personal views, success or failure that you experienced on that site.

This is not a shaming post. It's more of share your views both negative and positive.

Thanks.

So for me I use Fet more how it was created to be used. Kinky Facebook. I’m not on fet to find a partner. I’ve joined groups that interest me and sometimes join in on discussions. I use it to read more information/experiences around kinks I’m interested in. And lately I have been branching out to going to events.

If you are looking for a partner I know that can be really hard. And because fet is a bigger site you are going to find what feels like more scammers. But it’s most likely the same ratio of scammer to real profile there are just more people.

 

[daddyloveone]

I have not used Fet in years
but when I left it, the only thing I saw on the feed were "Porn" pics and vids.

And the chances of communicating with a prospective sub was like fighting with 100s to get a chance with one lol

 

[poetrylover828]

I have not used Fet in years
but when I left it, the only thing I saw on the feed were "Porn" pics and vids.

And the chances of communicating with a prospective sub was like fighting with 100s to get a chance with one lol

I do admit the fresh and pervey page and the kinky and popular pages of the explore tab tend to have a lot more porn pics and videos.

But fet was made to get people learning and having a place they can find events/munches to attend. It wasn’t made to find a sub. Plus many subs are women and they already have to deal with less than ideal messages so having someone looking for a sub cold messaging tends to be a turn off for many sub women.

If someone is using the site to learn about kinks and different perspectives on them or to find events/munches then I think you will find the site great. But if they are just looking for hook-ups/play partners it’s going to be a lot harder.

 

[subzzzero]

I do admit the fresh and pervey page and the kinky and popular pages of the explore tab tend to have a lot more porn pics and videos.

But fet was made to get people learning and having a place they can find events/munches to attend. It wasn’t made to find a sub. Plus many subs are women and they already have to deal with less than ideal messages so having someone looking for a sub cold messaging tends to be a turn off for many sub women.

If someone is using the site to learn about kinks and different perspectives on them or to find events/munches then I think you will find the site great. But if they are just looking for hook-ups/play partners it’s going to be a lot harder.

Agreed on the cold messaging approach. All my sub friends on fet keep an inbox of 99+ and have never even mentioned seeking a Dom. Just general convo about discussions. And dudes flooding their inbox.

 

[poetrylover828]

Agreed on the cold messaging approach. All my sub friends on fet keep an inbox of 99+ and have never even mentioned seeking a Dom. Just general convo about discussions. And dudes flooding their inbox.

Exactly this. And I think a lot of the people who don’t like fet or have issue with fet is because they think this type of approach works there. Fet isn’t a dating/hook up site. There are groups there about that stuff sure, but at it’s core it’s discussion and event finding.

 

[silentnotes]

I personally had good and bad experiences, some people are fake others aren't, I thought I found someone there and then got ghosted a few days ago. Some people there don't show respect, but you just have to sort them out

 

[Humili8edDiaperGirl]

So I have been on fet since long ago when it started...

its my kink version of Facebook. It's how I keep up with my friends in the lifestyle and those who I have connected with at events who live all over the country. I also use it to locate events, post my events, as well as find events looking for educators (as I have been teaching kink classes since 2007). I also use it as a place to keep up with what is going on in the communities near me.

I have never used or intended it to be a dating site. That said my 2 current partners came from random stumbles on fet posts or photos that had me reaching out with a message with more questions. Now, I need to clarify that I had not reached out to them with the intentions of a relationship. I reached out because of peeked curiosities and in search of new information. But over time and through meeting formed friendships that quickly grew to more.

It happens but that was not the concept or intent of the site originally. I also do get random skeezy messages there from disrespectful dudes who can't read, but that happens fairly irregularly compared to what I hear from some others.

As with all things YMMV!

 

[Zanatas]

I am just looking to find out your personal views, success or failure that you experienced on that site.

This is not a shaming post. It's more of share your views both negative and positive.

Thanks.

I kinda like it, but also there's a lot of issues there too (like the amount of red flags and such that just roam free because no one does anything). I had good things coming from there, knowing some good people that helped me evolve, meeting people IRL too (although that is extremely rare depending where you live). Overall is ok, but if any better alternative shows up I'm immediately jumping in

 

[HumiliatedSluts]

I'm afraid that due to OnlyFans and findom spamming, it might fail after some time, that is, the real kinksters will move somewhere else. I don't see a bright future for it even though I've been a member for over 10 years.

 

[subzzzero]

I'm afraid that due to OnlyFans and findom spamming, it might fail after some time, that is, the real kinksters will move somewhere else. I don't see a bright future for it even though I've been a member for over 10 years.

You’re 26 and been a member there for over 10yrs? You being on there underage at 16 was just as much a negative as the onlyfans people. You were putting real adult kinksters at risk. Keep that in mind as you browse there now that you’re older and know there’s likely others doing what you did. And regardless of age of consent laws they don’t get you out of underage pic and vid exchange online still being a legal risk