What happened to the Kink Talk?

[Doctor Pervert]

Everyone has some valid points. It's nice to see some discussion....

You my dear have nothing to apologize about being one of the most active contributors to the site. And yes it is very nice indeed to see some active discussion!

 

[An inactive user]

I must add that most people that I mean by my text are normally gone after some weeks and remain inactive. Only having used the site for about a month or 3. I don't think people reacting to this post will be the ones creating the problem since most of us are active or long time users

 

[nina]

Finally there is some discussion and Kink Talk..

On an unrelated note, I have always felt that personal ads looking for partners should be confined to that section only. To explain better for example, in the sub section of pet play or say bondage I would actually expect kink talk and discussions on those kinks rather than seeing people looking for other partners there for that specific kink. As personals are spread everywhere in all sub forums pushes actual potential discussion threads which are beneficial for all down and makes them less visible. Just my opinion.

But great start of conversation Doc, hope to see more active discussions on kinktalk in coming days as this is the place where I first started exploring kinks and holds a special place in my heart.

 

[MissMaria]

If I am honest most times I can be a little guilty of failing to write a decent report or getting involved in topics I have enjoyed, the trouble for me is that I am dyslexic and have trouble with both the reading and writing aspects (a large part of why I prefer offline play) and I don't do this to upset or devalue someone else's effort but I can also understand the effect of that on another person perspective.

That said often times the reason I do not get as involved is because I think of a subject I would like to start a thread on and get something started, but then as I begin to write it and I start having trouble with spelling and grammar that starts to pluck away at my confidence and then I begin doubting it is a good idea.

While this is something I am trying to work on it is also still an issue I am struggling with but I do aim to do better.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Finally there is some discussion and Kink Talk..

Thanks Nina, so good to see your face here again! And yes isn't great?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

While this is something I am trying to work on it is also still an issue I am struggling with but I do aim to do better.

Well I have to say that is a wonderfully eloquent post, you have done a great job of explaining your struggle and going forward you should not hesitate to post on any subject you are interested in.

 

[shadowice0823]

Also you mentioning commenting on the pictures reminded me. The current what is it 30sec-1 minute rule is stupid can you get that changed? It doesnt take that long to flip through photos so at most you reply to one photo and move on.

 

[MissMaria]

Well I have to say that is a wonderfully eloquent post, you have done a great job of explaining your struggle and going forward you should not hesitate to post on any subject you are interested in.

Well thank you, though I can't take credit for that, there are a few bits of software helping me out with that, which also adds to the struggle but again thank you

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Well thank you, though I can't take credit for that, there are a few bits of software helping me out with that, which also adds to the struggle but again thank you

Don't apologize for that, if you had a broken leg you'd use a crutch, the software is simply the crutch you need to get things done! The fact that you struggle on despite this really highlights how lazy so many people are that they can't even be bothered to leave a simple "thank you" on posts or photos.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Also you mentioning commenting on the pictures reminded me. The current what is it 30sec-1 minute rule is stupid can you get that changed? It doesnt take that long to flip through photos so at most you reply to one photo and move on.

Ah right I forgot about that, will ask the admins what we can do about it.

 

[spkmibtm]

My first contribution to this site.

I just found this site today and joined up.
This seems to be a great site, but it is my first day.
Maybe there will be a rebirth of chatters and discussers and activity.
I like a site getDare and they have great forums but their chat room, no one says anything and there will be six or seven or more people there. Just to see if they are alive I chat with myself for a couple of paragraphs and usually, nothing, no response. It is either weird or creepy, I have not decided which. A bit like the differing opinions here about exhibitionism being a kink or not.
I like the discussion going on. Intellegent, thoughtful , well written.
I like to discuss kink and have opinions, experiences and do not mind sharing them as I am as chatty as they come, like you folks.
Oh, sweet photo.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I just found this site today and joined up.

Welcome, and glad you have joined us at this time of activity. lets hope it continues!

And speaking of whats kinky and whats not, I told you those Swedish girls were fun, see Ikea now has a blowjob section, how kinky is that!

 

[DeedeeDay]

I have been on here for a good while now, I was on as dosster but now seem unable to access that account so I started again with this profile which a bit of a bummer but still to the point.

Its not the nudity thats the problem, its the setting, it has no context. If on the other hand the nudity happens in an unusually setting that can make it kinky. Outdoors or in other public places makes it risky exposure, not common so it qualifies as a kink. Or if the photos are in some way humiliating or contain some kind of kinky element, a clothes peg or a bit of rope even?
But no, most are blurry, out of focus badly cropped crap and in many cases not even of the purported poster but stolen from another website!

The only possible element I can see is that some may consider it "risky". When the posted photos don't include any identifiable feature there is no risk at all. I have been an active member of many kink sites for years, some almost 20 years now and have always used current photos of myself in my profiles and avatars. In all that time only once have I been recognised and that was, of course by another kink lover and that is with my face clearly displayed!

I think the second quote is almost the answer for the first. It is the risk factor for many. I've looked through it on occasion and some of the photos are like you say rubbish even as straight softcore images.

From my own point of view being exposed is a kink for me not because I want people to see me naked or otherwise but because I don't want them to see me. For me it is a control issue or rather loss of control that turns me on. I'm what some would term a shy person and I embarrass easily and what can be more embarrassing for a shy guy than to have his naked body exposed for anyone to see. Than of course the risk factor comes into it. Someone just might recognise me and imagine the embarrassment that would cause me but the risk factor is the turn on.

You are right about about the chances of being found and recognised might be slim but just through causally flicking through sites I came across a naked photo of a close female friend and a topless photo of a lady who works in a local shop that I go into regularly. I get a buzz every time she serves me. Not really because I know what is under her jumper, although that is nice but because I know if I have seen her posted and recognised her then someone could easily find my photos and recognise me. In fact they probably have and the thought that anyone I meet in the street, severs me in a shop, is a friend or future friend could well have seen all I have to offer and that gives them an advantage over me. It is hard to explain but I think of it in terms being similar to clothed female naked male, depending on which sex has seen my photos of course. I guess it is a kind of power game in a crude way.

I take your point about “When the posted photos don't include any identifiable features” very true. At the minimum the face should be shown, if the face is not shown then there is no risk of being recognised at all and therefore on risk and so no thrill and on a personal level I hate photos that are just of bits of the body or blurred out. I have been posted with not only full face showing which is embarrassing enough but also name and contact details.

I have to agree that posts with just a link and no context are pretty dull, I like detail and in any dare report I have ever done I try to give detail. Just typing done that is lame and not acceptable.

I think it's obvious from my profile that I'm not afraid to share and I enjoy completing tasks when I have time and permission but it does some times feel like I'm wasting my time because there is little recognition for the contribution.

I agree with this there should be more comment it acts as an encouragement to those of us who dare do what others dare us to do, try saying that after a few beers.

I also feel that personal ads looking for partners should be confined to that section only, but then that can be said of other types of posts. People should make the effort to post in the correct section then those that want that stuff can find it easily and those that don't can avoid and it saves people getting bored by having to trail through stuff there are not interested in and going elsewhere.

Forgive my all over the place ranting sometimes I find it hard to get my point across so I hope you understand what I'm trying to say and now I've said it I'm off to Ikea.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I have been on here for a good while now, I was on as dosster but now seem unable to access that account so I started again with this profile which a bit of a bummer but still to the point.

Wow, great post! I think I can agree with pretty much all you say too, you really point out why this CAN be a legitimate kink. Not sure why your dosster account stopped working but if you like I can help you sort that out, pm me.

Now as a special treat for being so chatty I am going to share something rather special with you all. My Sub A is a rather clever girl with design and photography and while working on something else she produced what I think is a totally spectacular image.
What's more I feel this is almost the essence of kinky conveyed by a look in the eye and the set of her lips. It says "I'm a kinky girl" loud and clear.

So lets call it an encore performance for Halloween...

 

[DeedeeDay]

Nice photo. if she jumped out of an alley on me I might just wet myself.

Well wouldn't you know it the site makes me out to by a liar I have just tried my old account and found I can get in now.

Now I'll have to choose which to keep,
I guess I'll have to stick with deedeedosst the name was chosen for me after loosing a bet and is based on my embarrassing nick name someone might not be happy if I change back.

 

[Ana The Sniper]

From my own point of view being exposed is a kink for me not because I want people to see me naked or otherwise but because I don't want them to see me. For me it is a control issue or rather loss of control that turns me on. I'm what some would term a shy person and I embarrass easily and what can be more embarrassing for a shy guy than to have his naked body exposed for anyone to see. Than of course the risk factor comes into it. Someone just might recognise me and imagine the embarrassment that would cause me but the risk factor is the turn on.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. In my personal life, I have no issue whipping my dick out in front of my friends at drunken parties and am very body positive. But that is because it is my personal life and I'm comfortable with it, and I do it to be funny rather than getting any sexual thrill from it. Also I tend to have a big cock so it has become a talking point haha.

It's exhilarating to post pictures online for me, not because I get a thrill that others saw me, but because there was the chance that they may or may not. Random user a thousand miles away from me seeing me naked doesn't turn me on. It's when I don't know who all is seeing me, or the chance that a picture gets reposted for much longer than I set it for, that I get a thrill. I'm not a trenchcoat exposer, going up to people in a mall flashing my junk. I am the guy in the shadows at night, hiding naked behind a bush because the thrill is the chance of being caught, not showing your junk to someone.

$.02

 

[subzzzero]

I think the lack of the "kink" talk itself is due to a few things,
1. Personal ads all over the place that are poor effort and or one liners. Ex: im a dom master i need subs to use( insert domly kik skype email)
2. Findommes enough said
3. Unfortunately a lot of guys are "into kink" for the wank fodder. Usually its an "im horny now need tits ass etc now. post pics, send nudes, lets cam." Not meaningful discussion or melting of creative minds.
4. Numbers ratio male to female is probably steep like all other kink or sex related sites. meaning dom and sub guys in the masses all vying for attention of a much smaller pool of females.
5. lack of meaningful input makes everyone want to talk less. i even find myself at times away for a while due to the overwhelming number of half assed desperate posts seeking sex play.
6. Lots are seeking hook up not social interaction and learning.

 

[soundwave106]

So come on then, someone explain to me why "exposure" on sites like temp.exposed etc is kinky.

Temp.exposed and similar sites actually cater to a few "kinks", more than exhibitionism. The ones that I think of that dominate are:
A) Exhibitionism
B) Hotwives / cuckold
C) Candaulism (eg people who get a thrill out of showing off their partner, usually a guy showing off his wife)
D) Humiliation play / degradation / etc.

None of this really relates to the BDSM side of kink, but I would definitely call some of these kinks. Some of them (cuckold, which tangentially relates to femdom sometimes, and humiliation) are pretty top tier kinks on Fetlife from what I can see.

If Getdare allowed nudity, I imagine you wouldn't see a lot of TE here, since from what I see, much of the TE stuff relates more to the dares / bets / strip games departments of that site -- more or less the exhibitionist part. You do see some talk about temp.exposed and similar on sites that focus on some of the above, from what I see.

As far as the lack of kink goes... I am one who is not really into the whips and chains type of kink; if Getdare allowed nude pics, I probably would not have joined Kinktalk, I currently use it primarily to check out responses on Getdare. I imagine this situation describes a lot of people.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

As an extra side note I find it sad that some people just post random pictures from the internet because it's their kink.... And ill be honest if I'd wanna see something from the net I'll probably search it myself.

This is a good point, so far as I am aware we have never been hit with a copyright infringement but that is a real risk when people post photos they grab off the net. There is no need to post found pics as we allow links to be posted here, so rather that filling up albums with photos you just like you can build a thread and add links to your favs there.
Of course that won't work if you are a fake trying to pass them off as your own...