What's my Deal???

[JustCant2022]

I have a new partner and we have a problem connecting sexually. I'm highly sexual and I don't usually have a problem being or staying aroused. For some reason whenever we get ready to have sex I can't. I think it's the added pressure or the fact that she doesn't orgasm from intercourse but from toys that really has messed up my mental.

Anyways need to talk it out.

 

[subzzzero]

Most erection issues are mental unless there was a recent medical change. Once it’s in your head. You’re going to stress it each time compounding the feeling. Even subconsciously. You gotta get out of your own head.

First talk to your partner. Let them know what’s going on. It helps to have both sides in the know and not just assuming things.

Have a drink or something else that helps you wind down and relax a little to take off the edge.

Make sex time not just penetration orgasm end game focused. Use toys together. Lots of foreplay. Oral hands etc. don’t focus on just cumming or just sex. It doesn’t matter who cums or when. Just enjoy the time.

Find why she only cums with toys. If it’s clit stimulation focused that’s an easier fix. Get a small bullet vibe and wedge between her lips on her clit while you penetrate her. They even make cock rings that hold a bullet vibe for clit work.

If it’s clit stim needed and y’all prefer not using vibes then try finding a motion and position that lets your pelvis grind against her clit and mound area with the strokes. Sometimes that’s enough.

You could also get some pills. Not cuz you need them. But just for once or twice use to help you succeed at what you’re wanting and that may take the pressure away.

Are you able to maintain hard like you’re used to when playing on your own?

Lastly it could be the physical fit. If she’s not squeezing on you hard enough it might not be enough for you.
People get used to masturbating and that usually ends up more fast aggressive hard. That will tune down your sensitivity when you have lesser grip when you’re having sex.