Why am I submissive to this weirdo woman? Is this my kink?

[Silvana 1975]

I am 5 ft 11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby. I am 44 year old(soon to be 45) heterosexual married woman. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have a 14 year old daughter!
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Incident #1


About six weeks ago i attended this women in wine all female backyard party. I was wearing a red long sleeve satin bow blouse ,black satin pants, and 5 inch heels black shoes. I had full make up on. When i arrived, this skinny really short like 5 ft 3 freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired masculine woman in her mid 50s who i have never met before, walked up to me, reached out with her right hand and started patting my left arm in the most awkward way . I had no idea who she was. I just sort of froze like WTH??
She said to me " You have a beautiful blouse. Wow. You are such a big woman. Standing next to you i look like a midget. " She was in flat shoes and i was on high heels, i am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed , i was really like a giant standing beside this weird woman.

She said to me" Wow. You are so shiney. I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. Why are you so overdressed? You look so glammed up ".

" I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I ’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time." I answered to her. She then started patting my back with her left hand and patting my left shoulder with her right hand and commented how soft satin material is. She said "I love this feel . The softness, the way that my hands and slips and slides on the fabric is out of this world. It is not sexual at all. I don't like to wear silk or satin clothes but I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing." Then she moved her right hand on my upper breasts. This weirdo small woman rubbed my body while talking to me for a FULL FIVE MINUTES, just slowly rubbing all over with her both hands including my breasts and my ass. She was patting my back and ass with her left hand and patting my front side with her right hand surreptitiously touching my breasts for like 5 minutes while I just stood there talking with her like nothing is happening.
.

"I am unemployed and broke. I am 55 year old and I have always been poor. I don't want to die poor. I am practically homeless. I had to move in here in this neighborhood. I live in my cousin's garage. ". she told me. The whole time while we were talking. She kept rubbing me all over with her both hands. That bothered me but I didn't know how to say to her don't touch me with out sounding rude.

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Then i sat on this chair. There wasn't enough chairs, so this touchy weird feely short skinny ginger woman sat on the right arm of my chair. I said to her " I insist for you to sit in this chair. I will be standing" Than I got up but she kept pushing me down to sit like if I was a naughty child trying to run away. She said "Don't be ridiculous big woman. I am small, I am fine sitting here." Then as she was sitting on my right side she placed her left hand on my left shoulder and she placed her right hand on my right upper breast and she just left her hand there. Then she moved her left hand lower from my right shoulder to my right upper breast. This weird ginger midget woman started patting my upper breasts with her both hands. She whispered in my ear "I know I’m invading your personal space but I can’t help it. Big woman i am just showing appreciation for your clothes.I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. " She spent ages rubbing my upper breasts and shoulders all over. It lasted probably about 20 minutes, it was weird and awkward.
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I am ashamed to say that I just sat there and let her do that to me. Then i went to the restroom. 20 minutes later this weird small ginger woman came up to me and we had the most awkward conversation, like really weird, long pauses. At one point as she was standing in front of me( her face is exactly the level of my breasts) she said "I just love your blouse" and reached out with her both hands and started patting and rubbing my whole front side concentrating on my breasts . Then I backed up and looked at her and she just kept rubbing. So fucking weird. I was too shocked to say anything about it. She was patting and rubbing my boobs for like 5 minutes . I was just standing there stiff as a board while she was feeling up my boobs . I was just standing there kind of awkwardly letting it happen.
Then one woman pulled her off and distracted her. I left.

Other women there were weirded out by our behaviour, but they ignored that and said/did nothing as if nothing was happening.I think that the women there were in shock themselves? Some people don’t like to get involved if they feel uncomfortable or not sure what is going on. These women(even her cousin) were pretending that is not happening with confused looks on their faces. Also it was bizarre. Standing next to me this touchy feely ginger old woman looked like a midget and I was letting her get by with it. Other people there probably thought that I am okay with it.



Incident #2

About four weeks ago I attended this one day developing business skills for women class . I was wearing a purple long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top,black satin pencil skirt, sheer black pantyhose and 5 inch heels purple shoes. I had full make up on. This touchy feely ginger midget woman was there on the parking lot. She came RUSHING up when she saw me. She said to me "uuuu i love your blouse. Big woman you are so elegant." Then she started rubbing my upper breasts with her both hands.
"I am unemployed and broke. I am 55 year old and I have always been poor I am here to learn how to make money. I don't want to die poor. Why are you here? ". she asked me.



I told her that i own a store and that i want to improve my business skills.



This ginger midget woman said to me "Common big woman" Then she grabbed my left hand with her left hand and she placed her right hand on my back.



We entered. There were over 30 women in their 40s and 50s. I walked towards the registration table and she walked beside me with her right hand still placed on the center of my back. As I bent over the table slightly to register myself this ginger midget woman put a hand on each of my hips and positioned herself behind me. I stood up straight and gasped a little, as she still held my hips. Again she said "You are such a big woman. Wow" .



Then i sat on chair and she sat behind me. This creepy weird ginger old touchy feely woman
spent basically the entire class behind me, arms wrapped around or rubbing my back and shoulders. Even when we had a coffee break I got up but she was basically attached and would go along with me.

It was really violating. Basically I'm just a huge push over. I was afraid that she would have definitely made a huge scene had I told her to stop touching me.
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Workshop-class ended i got up, this weirdo ginger woman was still sitting and she reached out with her both hands and rubbed my ass. I went outside. She went to the restroom. On the parking lot i was talking with one facilitator, this ginger touchy feely woman came up from behind and placed her both hands on my ass. She stood behind me rubbing and lightly squeezing my ass while i was talking to the facilitator. .

Then this ginger midget woman asked if I can give her a ride home. I was not really comfortable
...

I told her. 'sorry my car is full of boxes and its kind of messy so"... She said she doesn't mind. I repeated, I have boxes and stuff every where, sorry. She didn't say anything after that so I assumed she got the hint and I started walking ahead of her to get into my car. I open it, and get in. Then I turn to see her, opening my car door. I just kind of watch as she starts moving my stuff out of the passenger's seat and into the back. She sat down. We started heading towards her cousin's house and she kept telling me how thankful she was that I was doing this. She said she felt bad that she didn't have any money to call a cab and I just said she was ok that I was happy to do it.

During this time, she asked If i could hire her in my store (i am a small business owner). She begged me. I explained to her that i have enough employees. We get to my her cousin's house, she invited me in. I declined her offer. Then she said "Big woman i just love your blouse. Satin is so smooth to touch. You are such a great woman. " She reached out with her right hand and started rubbing my whole front side concentrating on my breasts. She was rubbing and feeling up my breasts in my own car for like 5 minutes. Again i did nothing. I didn't even took her hand off, we even talked while she was rubbing my breasts like nothing is happening. Then she thanked me for the 100th time and got out. I waved her off and then rushed away. Afterwards when i got home I started breathing hard, my legs got weak, and my heart started to race really fast.

 

[Silvana 1975]

What is wrong with me? I’m so ashamed that I couldn’t even say no or push this short skinny old woman away. The issue i need to address is not this woman groper but my passive reaction. I was non-consensually sexually touched on two occasions by this weirdo woman. For some reason i cannot, do not, fight this women off as i would some male who groped me. It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me. I didn't get lesbian pleasure out of this. (I am strictly heterosexual - i am not a closet lesbian.) I am not scared of this woman groper. I just couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny creepy woman. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. Why? What is wrong with me? And this predatory woman groper is physically completely harmless. She is not tough and strong. She doesn't look intimidating. She is creepy and masculine but she is just a short, skinny, tiny old woman. I am physically stronger than her.I admit that being passive and powerless liberated me from the stress of proper behaviour. I abandoned all that stressful responsibility for my own actions.
It was almost an out-of-body experience, watching myself allowing her hands to crawl over me. I was getting a sort of meta-pleasure out of the abandonment and handing over of my body, delight being used for these short skinny old ginger ugly woman groper's pleasure. I wish I could explain it better but can only express the feelings inside me in my poor humble way.
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This creepy repulsive short skinny woman publicly humiliated me and degraded me in a subtle way on those two separate occasions. Basically on those two occasions she was publicly touching me, rubbing me , dominating me. This repulsive pervert woman doesn’t just touch me or grope me , but she always seem to be out to embarrass me somehow. She likes subtly humiliating me in front of people.I am starting to think that this is a way for her to humiliate me in front of other people and gain power over me . Because a lot of people here in this community think that I'm stuck up upper middle class arrogant overdressed snob because I tend to ignore them. When i am in an environment where I do not know everyone I can come as arrogant and stuck up depending on the setting.Is truly a defensive mechanism though.I got the feeling that a lot of people here in this community think i am just arrogant snob.


I want to talk about this situation, because this is new to me. This meta pleasure. This older ugly short skinny masculine woman that would not even be anywhere near my league is so dominant with me . It seems as though this groper woman targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me. Why? I know that this doesn't mean that I'm gay as such, because I've had sex with men and I like men! I'm so worried that this isn't normal!

I am not scared of this woman groper. I just couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny creepy woman. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. She took on a very dominant personality almost immediately. She also took the initiative in touching me, groping me and publicly humiliating me in a way that made her seem very confident. I discovered this big part of me that wants someone to have power over me and take control of me.

 

[Dominic4e]

Sounds pretty wild especially since she was so upfront with her intention almost instantly. You should probably file a complaint since that is sexual harrassment since it wasn’t consensual. As for you not saying now maybe you were looking for that kind of experience subconsciously and when it happened you didn’t stop it

 

[Doctor Pervert]

In your description of these events as well as some of the other comments you make you are quite evidently sexually submissive. This is not something that is always obvious to you (but you suspect it) and especially given the fact that you seem to be professionally successful can be quite confusing. There is nothing wrong with you, in fact it is quite common to see this in otherwise strong, successful women. I have read a lot of rubbish about the psychology of why this happens but I don't think that matters, as long as you "enjoy" it in some way then its not a problem.
It also seems you quite like being humiliated as part of this submissiveness and thats where the most likely correlation is with why this short, poor, unattractive woman has such a grip on you. To be dominated by someone you otherwise feel superior to is again quite a common kink, its an especially humiliating way to be "put in your place".

Submission and dominance are inherent traits, its a very instinctive part of the brain that transcends rational thought so trying to work out why you feel submissive in some situations but dominant in others is not subject to normal logic. Check my post here for more info about this. As long as you are excited by this or enjoying it at some level (which seems likely) then that's great, just go along for the ride and revel in your newly discovered kinky side.

 

[Silvana 1975]

In your description of these events as well as some of the other comments you make you are quite evidently sexually submissive. This is not something that is always obvious to you (but you suspect it) and especially given the fact that you seem to be professionally successful can be quite confusing. There is nothing wrong with you, in fact it is quite common to see this in otherwise strong, successful women. I have read a lot of rubbish about the psychology of why this happens but I don't think that matters, as long as you "enjoy" it in some way then its not a problem.
It also seems you quite like being humiliated as part of this submissiveness and thats where the most likely correlation is with why this short, poor, unattractive woman has such a grip on you. To be dominated by someone you otherwise feel superior to is again quite a common kink, its an especially humiliating way to be "put in your place".

Submission and dominance are inherent traits, its a very instinctive part of the brain that transcends rational thought so trying to work out why you feel submissive in some situations but dominant in others is not subject to normal logic. Check my post here for more info about this. As long as you are excited by this or enjoying it at some level (which seems likely) then that's great, just go along for the ride and revel in your newly discovered kinky side.

So you think that i subconsciously enjoy being publicly groped by this older small creepy woman. But why? I am STRICTLY hetero. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! Also to be honest this ginger touchy feely small woman groper is ugly, creepy and repulsive to me. I am a logical, thinking woman, college-educated. So i accept that something is wrong with me. Like i said the issue i need to address is not this woman groper but my passive reaction. Do you think there may be an exhibitionist tendency for me, that i subconsciously like being publicly groped and dominated by this small older woman? Please be brutally honest. I realized that i really have a problem with being able to say "no" to this weird woman . I don't know why? Maybe because she is total opposite of me. Maybe subconsciously i know that this handsy short older skinny woman is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she could actually rape me are virtually nil. It is like is instilled in my mind now, that i am there for this short old ugly ginger who wants to rub me. WHY? Why ?

 

[Silvana 1975]

Sounds pretty wild especially since she was so upfront with her intention almost instantly. You should probably file a complaint since that is sexual harrassment since it wasn’t consensual. As for you not saying now maybe you were looking for that kind of experience subconsciously and when it happened you didn’t stop it

Maybe you are right. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. So you are probably right. These woman groper is total opposite of me. Do you think i subconsciously enjoy being dominated by her? But why? I am a straight woman.
The reality we are in an era where women are getting just as aggressive if not more than men. They see it as not as harmful because they are the same sex.
I don't know. anything that's harassment when a man does it is still harassment when a woman does it. That doesn't change just because it's coming from a different source.
In my experience this masculine weird short woman can be especially aggressive. I think that our culture kind of gives her a pass, since homosexuality between women isn't nearly as taboo and a lot of women can get away with being pretty handsy with each other. I don't know why this older short ginger woman always thinks she can rub my body all over with her both hands and invade my personal space like that.
She is just probably even more bold because she thinks she can get away with doing something like that more than than men can. I've never had men do anything like that. I admit to you to have my body rubbed by this weird creepy ginger woman in front of witnesses was kinda exciting. Am i an exhibicionist? I'm confident that I'm straight and have always been attracted to men. I've never really had sexual thoughts about women. Maybe i am homoerotic? What do you think? Am i homoerotic?

 

[yohan5318]

i messaged you regarding all of this especially being a pushover and letting it happen although you didn’t want it to as you didn’t want to seem rude

 

[Silvana 1975]

i messaged you regarding all of this especially being a pushover and letting it happen although you didn’t want it to as you didn’t want to seem rude

I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But I have never been groped by a strange man. Probably because of my bitch resting face. When I have a blank expression people assume that I'm in a bad mood. I mean yeah, I do get pissed off sometimes, but not always. I could just sitting here minding my own business and feel just fine and then someone would ask if I'm alright or if something is wrong. Like, bitch I was fine until you bothered me. People ask what's wrong, but I'm just bored or not smiling. I have never had a man even ask to touch me, let alone do it without permission. I haven't been touched by strange men in a creepy way.
No man ever dares to touch me. If he did I would tell him to fuck off. If he did I would scream. If he did I might even report it. I've been told to my face that “at first I thought you were a bitch but you're actually really nice.” More than once. I'm a naturally quiet person, the speak-when-spoken-to type, and I know that it may come off as rude. I’m deemed less approachable, which is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I do look extra mean on purpose depending on the circumstances (like walking past a large group of people, I get intimidated). I'm actually really nice, accepting, helpful and kind..

But this weird, creepy, small, older woman was so confident, she almost immediately just placed her hands on me. On those two occasions she was practically controlling me. Maybe that is why i was so submissive to her. I know that this doesn't mean that I'm gay as such, because I've had sex with men and I like men! I'm so worried that this isn't normal! Having my ass rubbed and my breasts rubbed (over clothes) publicly by this woman is something I tolerated. What is wrong with me? I was being treated as a sex object by this small ginger woman groper. But I don't even feel angry at this touchy feely woman for what she did to me, which I don't understand.

 

[yohan5318]

I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me. But I have never been groped by a strange man. Probably because of my bitch resting face. When I have a blank expression people assume that I'm in a bad mood. I mean yeah, I do get pissed off sometimes, but not always. I could just sitting here minding my own business and feel just fine and then someone would ask if I'm alright or if something is wrong. Like, bitch I was fine until you bothered me. People ask what's wrong, but I'm just bored or not smiling. I have never had a man even ask to touch me, let alone do it without permission. I haven't been touched by strange men in a creepy way.
No man ever dares to touch me. If he did I would tell him to fuck off. If he did I would scream. If he did I might even report it. I've been told to my face that “at first I thought you were a bitch but you're actually really nice.” More than once. I'm a naturally quiet person, the speak-when-spoken-to type, and I know that it may come off as rude. I’m deemed less approachable, which is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I do look extra mean on purpose depending on the circumstances (like walking past a large group of people, I get intimidated). I'm actually really nice, accepting, helpful and kind..

But this weird, creepy, small, older woman was so confident, she almost immediately just placed her hands on me. On those two occasions she was practically controlling me. Maybe that is why i was so submissive to her. I know that this doesn't mean that I'm gay as such, because I've had sex with men and I like men! I'm so worried that this isn't normal! Having my ass rubbed and my breasts rubbed (over clothes) publicly by this woman is something I tolerated. What is wrong with me? I was being treated as a sex object by this small ginger woman groper. But I don't even feel angry at this touchy feely woman for what she did to me, which I don't understand.

maybe because of her story about being broke and living in her cousins garage made you feel sorry for her and you just unintentionally allowed her to dominate you. i don’t think it’s a sexual thing either maybe it’s just you feeling sorry for her and allowing it even though you were like wtf is happening

 

[Doctor Pervert]

So you think that i subconsciously enjoy being publicly groped by this older small creepy woman. But why? I am STRICTLY hetero. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! Also to be honest this ginger touchy feely small woman groper is ugly, creepy and repulsive to me. I am a logical, thinking woman, college-educated. So i accept that something is wrong with me. Like i said the issue i need to address is not this woman groper but my passive reaction. Do you think there may be an exhibitionist tendency for me, that i subconsciously like being publicly groped and dominated by this small older woman? Please be brutally honest. I realized that i really have a problem with being able to say "no" to this weird woman . I don't know why? Maybe because she is total opposite of me. Maybe subconsciously i know that this handsy short older skinny woman is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she could actually rape me are virtually nil. It is like is instilled in my mind now, that i am there for this short old ugly ginger who wants to rub me. WHY? Why ?

Do not confuse sexuality with dom/sub tendencies, they are totally different aspects of your personality.
I think its quite simple why this has happened and why you continue to let it happen. You "enjoy" being humiliated publicly, and she is the perfect fit for that.
When I say enjoy I mean that you get a rush or a thrill from it, it makes you lose control and anytime that happens you get an adrenaline rush with faster heart rate, flushed face etc.

 

[oddjobber]

I woukd be curious to know more about how your relationshio with your mother and/or parents is or was. I'm ni psychologist but sounds like this woman almost has a motherly feel aboutnher. perhaps that is why you dont outwardly refuse or stop her?

 

[Silvana 1975]

Do not confuse sexuality with dom/sub tendencies, they are totally different aspects of your personality.
I think its quite simple why this has happened and why you continue to let it happen. You "enjoy" being humiliated publicly, and she is the perfect fit for that.
When I say enjoy I mean that you get a rush or a thrill from it, it makes you lose control and anytime that happens you get an adrenaline rush with faster heart rate, flushed face etc.

Maybe you are right. Maybe I "enjoy" being humiliated publicly. Why do you think that this weird small old ginger woman is the perfect fit for that? Please explain that to me.

 

[Silvana 1975]

maybe because of her story about being broke and living in her cousins garage made you feel sorry for her and you just unintentionally allowed her to dominate you. i don’t think it’s a sexual thing either maybe it’s just you feeling sorry for her and allowing it even though you were like wtf is happening

Actually I do feel a little sorry for her. I complained to her cousin about her groper cousin, but she says that her cousin is probably asexual and that she is drawn to me because i am tall and always dressed up in satin and silk clothes. She says that her cousin is just showing appreciation for my clothes and my height. She is saying that her cousin has been suffering from anxiety and depression for a number of years now. She says that her cousin is too socially awkward and she wants her cousin at the very least to be able to socialize when she has to. She says that her weird ginger cousin doesn’t understand what kinds of things aren’t really okay to do/say in social situations, that she thinks that nobody likes her, and has struggled to find enjoyment in anything or have anything ‘to look forward to’. Her cousin thinks that i am over overexaggerating. Her cousin says that this ginger midget woman is total opposite of me, that she is basically everything i am not, and that is why she is drawn to me and she enjoys touching me. She jokes that her cousin is not physically threatening to me at all, and the chances that she can actually harm me are virtually nil.


I will say that I never thought to fight this groper weirdo woman or hit her. Why? I just freezed out of shock on both occasions. I ended up shocked and frozen. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm too timid to do any sort of retaliation. I think on both occasions I just sort of froze and i was like "wow, is this really happening ?!". I like to think I'd do something more assertive if it happened again but realistically this ginger hands on woman probably will get away with touching me and rubbing me. Probably i subconsciously enjoy being publicly groped by this creepy woman. I am avoiding her. I have met her only twice. Only on these two occasions. But on both occasions she got her hands on me. But she lives in my neighborhood. We live on the same street. This touchy feely short skinny older ginger woman is definitely the weirdest person i have ever met.

 

[Silvana 1975]

From what I have read I agree with @droptokon. I have found that sexually a lot of people are quite opposites to there normal behavior just to get a good sensation out of the normal comfort zone. I don't really think something is wrong with you I just guess that since you own your own company you feel relieved when someone takes control over you since normally your in control.
Sometimes the mind just needs some opposite attention to enjoy the pleasures of life and to reset itself.

Please be brutally honest. I need your opinion. So you think that i subconsciously enjoy being publicly groped by this creepy small woman . Do you think that i activated my lesbian part? I am a straight woman. I have never been attracted to a woman sexually. I am STRICTLY hetero. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! Also to be honest this touchy feely ginger woman groper is ugly, creepy and repulsive to me. She looks like a short skinny ugly effeminate man. I'm not attracted to this old short skinny woman or anything. As far as having intimacy with a woman? That's just something that I haven't done and will probably not do so. Im a straight woman never got turned on by a women.

 

[Silvana 1975]

maybe because of her story about being broke and living in her cousins garage made you feel sorry for her and you just unintentionally allowed her to dominate you. i don’t think it’s a sexual thing either maybe it’s just you feeling sorry for her and allowing it even though you were like wtf is happening

She just joked that at the wine group meeting/party I made stupid faces while her cousin was touching me and rubbing me. She also says that it is hilarious and bizarre that standing next to her cousin ginger groper I look like a giant and I let her get by with it. She even said that groping between women isn't a big deal at all. She was just joking. She is is very protective of her weird creepish cousin. She says that her cousin is just overly sensitive.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Maybe you are right. Maybe I "enjoy" being humiliated publicly. Why do you think that this weird small old ginger woman is the perfect fit for that? Please explain that to me.

Sure, quite simply it is always humiliating to be dominated by someone you consider inferior. This is where it can create confusion, you are bigger and possibly stronger than her yet she controls you, not physically but mentally. And despite what you may see or read domination is not about physically subjugating someone its about mentally controlling them. When the control is physical it is domineering bullying or even abusive assault but this is so much more subtle and about real control.
In real terms she already "owns" you, the face to face experiences added to this extended discourse about her shows just how much she has you in her grip. Possibly the only real question now remaining is whether it was her intention to capture you like this or if she just went along because you accepted her so completely?

 

[Silvana 1975]

Sure, quite simply it is always humiliating to be dominated by someone you consider inferior. This is where it can create confusion, you are bigger and possibly stronger than her yet she controls you, not physically but mentally. And despite what you may see or read domination is not about physically subjugating someone its about mentally controlling them. When the control is physical it is domineering bullying or even abusive assault but this is so much more subtle and about real control.
In real terms she already "owns" you, the face to face experiences added to this extended discourse about her shows just how much she has you in her grip. Possibly the only real question now remaining is whether it was her intention to capture you like this or if she just went along because you accepted her so completely?

You are totally right. She "owns me". I realized that i really have a problem with being able to say "no" to this creepy small touchy feely ginger woman . I don't know why? Maybe because she is total opposite of me. It seems like the people who want to take advantage can sense when you're someone who can't say no. I was taken advantage of on two occasions by this groper woman because of this. It is like she can detect my weakness. I’ve found that I’m extremely accommodating in order to avoid conflict with this weird touchy feely woman and stir the pot. This feeling of foolishness. That is exactly how i feel. I was so much embarrassed on these two occasions. I overanalyze this. Other people people there on those two occasions probably were silently thinking it is bizarre. Also this handsy creepy small ginger woman is not physically threatening to me at all, so maybe that is why nobody reacted to my defense.


You are correct about the power game here. Presence in the now, occupying my space, touching, is all a power and anger game.
I am so thankful to you. You are right. It seems as though this woman targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me. Why? She is so invasive and creepy. This short ginger creepy old woman on both occasions just made a decision that she's going to touch me and rub my breasts, and butt. It's just the fact that she took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . She just took what she wanted on both occasions. She was inappropriately touching me and groping me in front of everyone. But it is all my fault. Honestly i would scream my head off if a man did it but I couldn’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny weird ginger. I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop. I had this feeling of completely losing control of my body, and being completely at her mercy. What is wrong with me? She was publicly groping me and rubbing me while i just sat/stood there stiff as a board. If a man did this to me it would pretty much constitute sexual harassment, but because she is a small older woman she thinks i will let her get away with it, and i did. I strongly suspect that i am targeted by this woman, maybe she is seething with envy of me and my life, and she wants to publicly dominate me.

By touching me under the pretext of her fondness for satin material she is asserting dominance over me. The whole fondness for satin thing is a scam, and suggests that she thinks i am pretty damn stupid. Now also note how the whole "big woman" term gets used. She is taking steps to undercut my self esteem, by making me feel unconscious about how i look and dress. This is about her envy, and about subtly bulling me, and making me seek her approval. Again, power and dominance over me. This is also the start of classic female-on-female bullying tactics. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! I am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby. But I love my height and my curvy stature.

 

[Silvana 1975]

Sure, quite simply it is always humiliating to be dominated by someone you consider inferior. This is where it can create confusion, you are bigger and possibly stronger than her yet she controls you, not physically but mentally. And despite what you may see or read domination is not about physically subjugating someone its about mentally controlling them. When the control is physical it is domineering bullying or even abusive assault but this is so much more subtle and about real control.
In real terms she already "owns" you, the face to face experiences added to this extended discourse about her shows just how much she has you in her grip. Possibly the only real question now remaining is whether it was her intention to capture you like this or if she just went along because you accepted her so completely?

You seem to really get to a bottom of things. Maybe i feel safe with this ginger midget groper woman because she is ugly, hideous and repulsive to me. Also i am strictly hetero. But I admit that if a handsome attractive man starts groping me, rubbing me, pressing his cock against my butt, i will get aroused. And i don't want to cheat on my husband.
But there is something in submission... my choices being removed. For me it's just the fact that this old midget groper ginger woman took control of me, she did whatever she wanted to me . To let go even of my own will... It was mind altering. To my surprise, I have found I kinda like to be dominated by this creepy repulsive weirdo woman. But i got no direct sexual pleasure out of this short skinny creepy woman's rubbing. I got meta pleasure. I have eroticised the passive suffering of the repulsive treatment i got.
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I love my husband and he loves me so much. We have a wonderful and caring marriage. We hug and kiss and don't care about showing our love to the world. I love my husband and I love having sex with him. I’m sexually attracted to younger men, but he’s my one and only. I'm 44 and my number is 19 .I've slept with 19 men, 0 women. Four were serious relationships, including my husband. 15 were less serious relationships, but I don't regret them because they were important for my self development. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have a 14 year old daughter. We have a great life, we are comfortable, typical upper middle class family. But i admit to you that over the years my sex life with my husband has become more routine and less exciting. Recently i find myself attracted to younger guys. I feel really guilty about it, but i can't seem to stop myself wandering what it would be like to hook up with some of them.

 

[Silvana 1975]

I think @droptokon really captured what I meant. And I think you start realizing what we mean as well so I'll leave it with that.

I admit to you that I kinda like to be publicly dominated by this creepy repulsive weirdo woman . It is an incredible feeling. I think there may be an exhibitionist tendency for me, because i like (need?) to be publicly rubbed by this weird ugly old short skinny woman. Certainly the embarrassment factor is ten fold, but also the excitement factor as well. To have my breasts and butt groped by this weird creepy small ginger woman in front of witnesses is kinda exciting . Maybe you are right. I like to take all my decisions and i like to be dominant but i discovered this big part of me that wants someone to have power over me and take control of me. Part of it for me is this weird creepy woman groper having control and authority over me.
Maybe i am comfortable with this groper midget woman because i know that she is physically harmless.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I admit to you that I kinda like to be publicly dominated by this creepy repulsive weirdo woman . It is an incredible feeling. I think there may be an exhibitionist tendency for me, because i like (need?) to be publicly rubbed by this weird ugly old short skinny woman. Certainly the embarrassment factor is ten fold, but also the excitement factor as well. To have my breasts and butt groped by this weird creepy small ginger woman in front of witnesses is kinda exciting . Maybe you are right. I like to take all my decisions and i like to be dominant but i discovered this big part of me that wants someone to have power over me and take control of me. Part of it for me is this weird creepy woman groper having control and authority over me.
Maybe i am comfortable with this groper midget woman because i know that she is physically harmless.

I'm sure by now you are curious just how far she could push you and this is obviously weighing on your mind. Since you have already concluded this is something you actually enjoy and get very excited by you perhaps could take it further.
Do you know where you could find her again in a public situation? If so you could test yourself in various ways by making sure your clothing is more revealing than normal and perhaps even go without a bra. If this encourages her to even more invasive groping then you can just see where it goes.