I have been away for a while but I post one thing literally one thing and I get a bunch of messages asking for my kik or Snapchat from people I have never interacted with before. Why? Do people think this is flattering to women to be ‘noticed’? Cause it isn’t, the first thing I think when I get a pm with only the words ‘’kik or snap’’ is get lost, creep and how annoying. If someone wants to talk to me fine but don’t just send a shitty message asking for private info. The only thing those messages are is a big turn off. Any other females/or others have this issue?
Why do people do this?
- Thread starter Lilly131
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Because most guys don't know better, that's why.
You see, guys are different than girls. Girls get high sexually by knowing a guy who is a guy, yet guys get turned on only by looks. To attract a bunch of guys, most of them perverts, its enough for you to put a cute picture... it doesn't even need to be a scantily clothed one!
If most guys ever receives a message like that from a woman, even if she is a 3 or 4 (out of 10), he will immediately respond... Because they think that because life is that way for guys, it is also that way for gals...
That reason is identical in gals, however. That's the only reason that you asked that question all bewildered and could not understand it.
So, the reason you get the messages from guys is because you are a girl and guys are guys, and those two are EXTREMELY different groups.
You see, guys are different than girls. Girls get high sexually by knowing a guy who is a guy, yet guys get turned on only by looks. To attract a bunch of guys, most of them perverts, its enough for you to put a cute picture... it doesn't even need to be a scantily clothed one!
If most guys ever receives a message like that from a woman, even if she is a 3 or 4 (out of 10), he will immediately respond... Because they think that because life is that way for guys, it is also that way for gals...
That reason is identical in gals, however. That's the only reason that you asked that question all bewildered and could not understand it.
So, the reason you get the messages from guys is because you are a girl and guys are guys, and those two are EXTREMELY different groups.
I am not sure I agree I think there is a level of respect that doesn’t seem to be there. Yes I get it guys and girls can be different but I don’t think it is that simple. It seems like the people sending these messages feel that they have the right to bother someone simply because it is a kink website. It is like arguing that just because a girl dresses in a short skirt she is asking for it. Well even if she is it doesn’t mean she is asking for it from YOU. It is still good to be polite and a decent human female or male. And I think you misunderstand me I am not bewildered but I am frustrated although I understand that text communication can sometimes be interpreted differently. When I ask why I am not so much asking for why as in the reason they do it but what makes them think it is ok to do it in the first place although I probably should have clarified that.
It has nothing to do weather the site is kink or not, or weather the site is paid or not. The same effect happens anyway, Weather the site is chocolate, vanilla, or plain ice!
Heck... Who am I kidding... You don't even need a website for this effect to happen. Ever had your phone blown by a dude who you just met at a bar once?
No, I did not misunderstand you. And you have just confirmed it.
There is always misinterpretations among both sexes, ever since Adam ate the forbidden fruit handed to him by Eve. That is nothing new. There will always be bickering and fighting, as well as a power struggle.
That is one of the advantages of having a TPE 24/7/365 slave girl forever. When you girl knowledge she to be your slave girl forever, all you got to do to put her in place is remind her of this, and she will quickly subdue under your will. This is much harder to accomplish with a plain vanilla relationship. There you need to resort to negotiation and arguments and other waste of time.
Btw, do not misunderstand me... I would never participate in that kind stupid shit. Because I don't do it (plus some additional stuff), I can have a rain of girls wetting my cock at any time!
The miscommunication isn’t because of being male or female also this kind of makes no sense and I never said you did do that.... but I am not looking for a fight so I am going to agree to disagree with you and of course you can respond how you wish but I won’t be responding back to you.
I don't think there is any one correct answer to this question. I think it is partially due to the differences between males and females and partly the fact that it is a kink site. The kink elements for some reason gives the impression that any submissive female is willing to submit to any dominant or send pictures to anyone. I get lots of random messages on other social media platforms from people I don't know 'Hey lyk ur pic, wna chat' - just....no.
@Lilly131 it's not right but I usually ignore them and they go away!
@Lilly131 it's not right but I usually ignore them and they go away!
That’s true people assume submissive is synonymous with doormat which is wrong and super frustrating I suppose the only real option online is to ignore.
There are also massively lonely guys on the internet who don't interact with girls. Far more of them than you'd think who don't know better. Even then most of them would go out of their way to be friendly and helpful to you, but there's still so many and the loudest ones are going to be the ones that stand out.
The internet just simply is not a good place for pickup. I think every woman I've ever seen online complains about it. The best you can do is avoid the loud ones and do your best to pick up on the more subtle guys they're on a difficult track but pointed the right direction.
The internet just simply is not a good place for pickup. I think every woman I've ever seen online complains about it. The best you can do is avoid the loud ones and do your best to pick up on the more subtle guys they're on a difficult track but pointed the right direction.
My thoughts are that the kink life in general is treated entirely different by guys as opposed to vanilla life. It seems even more rampant online. It's as if many assume that since a girl is into kink shes into casual instant sex as well. OR since shes "a" submissive she must willing be "anyone's" submissive. So they message her thinking shes sub and since the guy self identifies as a dom then surely she will have to respond to me and serve me and fall for me because of my self proclaimed awesomeness.
Another issue is the lack of knowledge and education in the actual foundations of the lifestyle. unfortunately the majority of guys got here by way of porn, or they saw some "BDSM" porn and went googling. Maybe even some 50 shades intro guys as well. this all makes for an environment of thirsty guys just seeking a quick play session and not actually putting time into a dynamic.
Couple all that with the internet in general, a place where one can speak as they wish with little or no repercussions. So they cast a line out to every damn female they can find as if theyre fishing and if 1 out of a 100 bites then they consider it a win and in turn feel its a good way to be so they continue the shitty practice. Add in that the occasional new girl falls victim to one of these self proclaimed "awesome master of all domly doms" and now it makes it worse, she now thinks this is the norm and until she finds someone who shows her differently she may be feeding into these types of shitty fake doms not even knowing it.
My feeling is this, if you saw this girl in the gorcery store are you going to immediately go up to her asking for her number so you can message her? Are you going to walk up to her in the frozen foods section and ask her to show her tits or to serve you and let you be her master etc? Fuck no you're not. So stop doing it online.
Im glad you spoke out and started a discussion on this. I hope it helps educate some, i know most that need to see it wont cuz this doesnt have tits or ass or porn or tasks in it. But fingers crossed this post you made will help some and overall improve the community.
Another issue is the lack of knowledge and education in the actual foundations of the lifestyle. unfortunately the majority of guys got here by way of porn, or they saw some "BDSM" porn and went googling. Maybe even some 50 shades intro guys as well. this all makes for an environment of thirsty guys just seeking a quick play session and not actually putting time into a dynamic.
Couple all that with the internet in general, a place where one can speak as they wish with little or no repercussions. So they cast a line out to every damn female they can find as if theyre fishing and if 1 out of a 100 bites then they consider it a win and in turn feel its a good way to be so they continue the shitty practice. Add in that the occasional new girl falls victim to one of these self proclaimed "awesome master of all domly doms" and now it makes it worse, she now thinks this is the norm and until she finds someone who shows her differently she may be feeding into these types of shitty fake doms not even knowing it.
My feeling is this, if you saw this girl in the gorcery store are you going to immediately go up to her asking for her number so you can message her? Are you going to walk up to her in the frozen foods section and ask her to show her tits or to serve you and let you be her master etc? Fuck no you're not. So stop doing it online.
Im glad you spoke out and started a discussion on this. I hope it helps educate some, i know most that need to see it wont cuz this doesnt have tits or ass or porn or tasks in it. But fingers crossed this post you made will help some and overall improve the community.
This is very true I guess the internet also has that non human feel because you aren’t physically next to the person but it is still frustrating that people are not considerate of others online.
indeed it is frustrating. This is much how people behave on social media as well. being overly shitty as if its not areal person, i suspect theyd be much less open if it were face to face irl talk. and kink life online has it as well. There are plenty who do understand online dynamics should be treated just as irl ones. There just seems to be a lot of the one online seeking easy play with no attachments and that messes it up for the ones seeking longterm. I have had several online only dynamics lasting over a years time. when both involved treat it as such it works great. Sometimes better than irl cuz it allows you to bypass timezones and distance apart where an other wise great match might be hindered.
I see this in a male perspective very simple:
Males finding internet for the first time usually try a lot of approach messages and women ignore.
In time the males got bored on rejects and change their approach to wtf if it works it works.
We are like primates but that makes us cute.
)
In time women got used to those fucking males spamming their inbox. This happens all the times like "gosh, woman!!!"
If you, girl, get a "hi", try a "hello" and then spend a little time to see what kind of male is trying to approach you. Sometimes that is not a spammer, but a guy interested in you.
Just my oppinion.
Males finding internet for the first time usually try a lot of approach messages and women ignore.
In time the males got bored on rejects and change their approach to wtf if it works it works.
We are like primates but that makes us cute.
)In time women got used to those fucking males spamming their inbox. This happens all the times like "gosh, woman!!!"
If you, girl, get a "hi", try a "hello" and then spend a little time to see what kind of male is trying to approach you. Sometimes that is not a spammer, but a guy interested in you.
Just my oppinion.
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So the poor behavior should be excusable because it has happened frequently enough and had maybe some minor success? I think there's no excuse to not make full effort with each individual contact one tries to make while being fully respectful of them as a person when approaching. I get the "hi" approaches from subs on kik and fet all the time. Thats instant ignore for me. IF all they have time for is "hi"then i'm not wasting my effort one sided.
I have plenty of success connecting with lots of awesome subs in many places online or irl, because i treat them like human beings, people, you know the ones with feelings and needs and wants of thier own? 90% of the time its seeking a friend style connection growing that to more and dynamic happens when both sides are ready. IF it never happens then im still good on having gained a new kink friend.
I feel the biggest issue is lots want instant plug and play action and arent willing to put the time into it.
I have plenty of success connecting with lots of awesome subs in many places online or irl, because i treat them like human beings, people, you know the ones with feelings and needs and wants of thier own? 90% of the time its seeking a friend style connection growing that to more and dynamic happens when both sides are ready. IF it never happens then im still good on having gained a new kink friend.
I feel the biggest issue is lots want instant plug and play action and arent willing to put the time into it.
