Is being legally married to your partner as important as having a trusting relationship?

[yvonnewilcox]

I know I have to really explain this thread. Some people feel that being married automatically guarantees that you and your mate suppose to trust each other. If you had to chose between getting married and just living together but have a trusting relationship, which would you choose?

 

[AlienMindsInc]

Marriage is good only for state benefits, in my book. All marriage is, is a simple promise to never cheat, and always be there for your mate.

Also, in the States (and most(?) other countries), there is this thing called a Marriage License that I am opposed to getting. It was invented as a way to allow otherwise illegal marriages, and was used in places, such as the American South, as a way to limit who had the right to marry. Currently, I believe they are required in all states. I am opposed to it because the simple idea of getting one implies that I'm not allowed to be with whomever I choose, and is an insult to everyone.

I will likely never get married, so the long answer is living together.

 

[ldybgsgma99]

I would definitely choose the trusting relationship. All marriage is is a piece of paper that satisfies the state you live in. It doesn't mean anything else. I would far rather have a trusting relationship than a piece of paper any day.

 

[yvonnewilcox]

Wow to GREAT replies so far

I am married and have been married twice not to the same man of course but I believe in what you are saying. I have several friends that believe they are safe when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases because they are married. I disagree with the comfort zone because being married is not a guarantee clean bill of health. You might not cheat but who knows what your partner is doing.

 

[Simplyme]

A very trustworthy partner will always be more important to me than a piece of paper that shows I repeated some words. Like was said that piece of paper does not guarantee that you are in a "good - trusting" relationship.

 

[Momof2]

Trusting would be the main one for me, no point being married if you can't trust them.

 

[Dementyia]

I'm with everyone else here. I refuse to get married, because I don't beleive in paying money to get a piece of paper that costs thousands to get rid of just so I can get some tax benefits that I will never use.

Truly, the trusting, long term relationship rules

 

[The-Wolf]

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. I put that in the forefront of my needs where a relationship is concerned. I am married and trust my wife implicitly. As of yet she has done nothing that would break that trust.

We knew before we were married our life would not be normal as my wife has wanted me to take on another woman to be a sister wife for years. She also realizes that that sister wife will be my slave. We only went through the hoops to get married to keep our families from being an issue.

That is now no longer the case and we are perusing what we have been plannig for some time. If we could have we would be common law and as happy as we are now. And in light of being legally wed we will take steps to ensure that our slave will get that as many of the benefits of being a wife as we can.

 

[JaysonClaims]

In the most blunt of terms, marriage means SHIT. In fact marriage is a complete insult to love itself. It's a LAW! it's a CONTRACT! How does this guarantee trust and love between two people?

Do yourself a favour and look up what this law actually does.

 

[vasya9]

To me, trust is most important. But marriage does offer some legal rights/protection.

 

[noone]

A very trustworthy partner will always be more important to me than a piece of paper that shows I repeated some words. Like was said that piece of paper does not guarantee that you are in a "good - trusting" relationship.

Couldn't agree more..I too have similar views.

 

[andrei]

just get married with the one you love. It really is that simple.

Someone who you won't have second thoughts later. Maybe wait a few years before marriage to be worth.

 

[greeneyedkitty]

I know I have to really explain this thread. Some people feel that being married automatically guarantees that you and your mate suppose to trust each other. If you had to chose between getting married and just living together but have a trusting relationship, which would you choose?

Honestly, I see marriage as a mutually-given award by both partners after they are in a loving, trusting, caring relationship and it's nothing more than a gesture. Marriage in some countries might make certain things easier, but it's not the be all end all and it shouldn't make things easier(hence we see a lot of reforms to benefit systems in central Europe).

If somebody says they need a piece of paper or a ceremony of vows from you to love you or for you to prove your love, then well, I'd have to ask questions about if they love you enough.

But I'm only 18 so maybe my views will evolve on this though I think they'll stay the same.

 

[LoveHurts]

I would say trust over marriage, I have known too many couples that have gotten married and after a bit they lost there trust. But also I have known couples that have been together for years who don't find it nessicary to get married because they have a trusting relationsip. I personaly don't need marriage I need trust because without trust neither a relationship or a marriage can exist. I could go into a ful blown rant but I don't wanna take up that much time to write it all.

 

[Gashakura]

well most people take it for the symbolism or tax break but i think one can have a healthy long long term relationship without it also not everyone is Christian...

 

[jjhye]

Trust over marriage.

Marriage certificate is needed so people won't judge when we have kids. Can you imagine people asking if you are married and you said no but have 3 kids? I doubt I can handle their judgement so yea.

 

[Tonivir]

It should go the same way. If you have trusting relationship then being legally married you make the relationship strong. Being legally married means you respect each other and love each other. Marriage is a result or manifestation of your love to each other, should strengthen the bond between each other more importantly if you have a children.

 

[Jelineex]

Personally, I would choose to be married with a trusting relationship. Being faithful is one factor that makes a relationship work for the best. It gives me a fulfilling environment since I have the assurance of trust and loyalty. It's a good advantage to find someone who will love sincerely for the rest our lives. It is a God given privilege.

 

[Caguioa747]

marrying is not a guarantee that you will end up together forever. because for me marriage is just a piece of paper that you sign in front of a priest to be legally together. what matters most is the trust in each other because without it a relationship or even marriage wont work.

 

[Tonivir]

Well if you believe that marriage is a sacrament, then you will give value to it. You will not see it as a mere paper but a sign or manifestation of your love to each other. You will not get married if you do not love each other, because it undermine the purpose of marriage which is bond between the two lover.