Real life versus realistic

[signatuarebm123]

Being spanked because you were late to the session.

Expected to have the house clean.

Expected to have dinner done at a certain time.

Greeting at the door when master or dominant walks in.

Would you say these are realistic?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

It depends on the depth of the relationship.

I have seen this level of domestic discipline working fully only once in all my years of bdsm. The couple in question were married and committed to a very strict TPE style relationship, the kind of things you describe were a fundamental part of that.
In a more casual, non live in situation I would say not unless these have been specifically agreed upon.

For most people living in the real world actual life chores, kids and work will preclude a lot of this kind of thing. Realistically the only way to ensure this level of availability is if the sub is home all the time, doesn't have a job, doesn't have kids and is supported financially to be able to supply this kind of 24/7 domestic submission.

 

[signatuarebm123]

Thanks for your honesty. So it was more unrealistic than I thought. What is TPE if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Magnetic]

Thanks for your honesty. So it was more unrealistic than I thought. What is TPE if you don't mind me asking?

TPE means total power exachange. Or, when the slave girl submits to the entire will of her Master, for every single aspect of her life. It may involve limits (or it may not).

 

[signatuarebm123]

Thanks for letting me know. I think it might be a little too much for me. I'm more on the submissive side than a slave.

 

[Magnetic]

Thanks for letting me know. I think it might be a little too much for me. I'm more on the submissive side than a slave.

Most people are!

 

[chokedncollared]

It can be depending on how you set it up. I have kids with my owner and I have a job. We have certain tasks I'm expected to have done and there are consequences if they aren't done. There are also consequences for disrespect, having a smart mouth, inconsiderate actions/words, etc. However, the consequences/punishments aren't always on the spot. Usually on the spot I'm just told (verbally or via text message) that I'm in trouble/will pay for what I've done later. Then I get sit with that weighing on my mind all day about what that trouble is going to be, which I never can guess and he won't tell me. The waiting to find out is in itself part of the punishment. Then when we are alone at the end of the day, behind closed/locked doors, that's when he deals with me if I need dealing with. So if you don't feel a need for "on the spot" corrections, this can definitely be done, but you would have to talk with your sub and come to an agreement on what's expected and when. That dynamic can look different in every relationship.

 

[Magnetic]

Hey!

I mention nothing about on the spot punishments! Even if doing pet play, you are not really a pet. On the spot punishments are necessary for pets, but not for humans. For our kind, delayed punishment (especially if you do not tell them what it the punishment is going to be), is much, much more effective!

As I said, this is true even if you are playing to be a pet...

 

[signatuarebm123]

Thanks for your response about punishments. Sounds intriguing to say the least.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

It can be depending on how you set it up. I have kids with my owner and I have a job. We have certain tasks I'm expected to have done and there are consequences if they aren't done. There are also consequences for disrespect, having a smart mouth, inconsiderate actions/words, etc. However, the consequences/punishments aren't always on the spot. Usually on the spot I'm just told (verbally or via text message) that I'm in trouble/will pay for what I've done later. Then I get sit with that weighing on my mind all day about what that trouble is going to be, which I never can guess and he won't tell me. The waiting to find out is in itself part of the punishment. Then when we are alone at the end of the day, behind closed/locked doors, that's when he deals with me if I need dealing with. So if you don't feel a need for "on the spot" corrections, this can definitely be done, but you would have to talk with your sub and come to an agreement on what's expected and when. That dynamic can look different in every relationship.

I would say this is a good compromise, having a well structured and understood regime is really the only way to manage something like this.
As mentioned before the reality of day to day life often intrudes (kids problems, visitors, illness, etc) so having a predefined way to incorporate your kinks into your life is the only practical way.
I guess how this relates to the OP's question is that this type of understanding is not easily achieved, especially in a new, casual relationship. One of the most common causes of kink/bdsm relationships to fail early on is having unrealistic expectations, both on the Dom and sub side.

 

[Melody]

High protocol arrangements can also work well when you can get away with your Master for a short period - like for a weekend in a cottage or something like that. It makes for a very intense weekend!

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

I have kids with my owner.

How does that work if you do not mind me asking? In an everyday situation are you just "normal" for lack of a better word, or you also expected to display a certain reverence toward the owner in front of the rest of the family as well? Also if there are disagreements as to what type of sports, arts etc. that the kids are to do, do you just let him make the choices or how does that work?

 

[Sweex]

Log In ‹ submissy — WordPress

www.submissy.com

This is a blog of a sub who is in a 24/7 BDSM relationship. She has I belive 4 kids and makes it work somehow. Very interesting read.

 

[Merlin]

How does that work if you do not mind me asking? In an everyday situation are you just "normal" for lack of a better word, or you also expected to display a certain reverence toward the owner in front of the rest of the family as well? Also if there are disagreements as to what type of sports, arts etc. that the kids are to do, do you just let him make the choices or how does that work?

Not everyone lives in a TPE situation , were all choices lie with 1 partner

For me personal i feel like when it comes to kids it is a matter of not forcing things on them, harder with high protocol than with low protocol of course, but it is doable.
Just that with, like almost anything, the kids need some high priority over acting out some protocols

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

For me the problem with real life is that I do not want to commit social suicide. I actually think an older Dom would fit me. At least in regular day to day interaction I find I fit well with them, and often find boys my age to immature, However the problem is that this is frowned upon. Plus, it is unfair that men get viewed differently then woman. A woman who has a affair with an older man is a whore, whereas a man who is able to get a younger partner gets high fived.

 

[Merlin]

For me the problem with real life is that I do not want to commit social suicide. I actually think an older Dom would fit me. At least in regular day to day interaction I find I fit well with them, and often find boys my age to immature, However the problem is that this is frowned upon. Plus, it is unfair that men get viewed differently then woman. A woman who has a affair with an older man is a whore, whereas a man who is able to get a younger partner gets high fived.

I am out to my friends and family and don't hide much , never was a social suicide. For normal day things it is nothing that is in any way visible or obvious

To the big age difference, I had subs that were older than me by a few years and subs that were younger. Is what you say wrong , no.
There is the chance of comments for sure but in the end it is between the 2 partners

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

Just that with, like almost anything, the kids need some high priority over acting out some protocols

The question is also, what happens if the kids find out especially if they are older. That would be an awkward conversation to have I'd imagine.

 

[Merlin]

At some point the conversation will need to happen, that said it isn't that different than other sexual aspects

And there are also vanilla partners were one is very dominant over the other ... that is not different for the kids

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

There is the chance of comments for sure but in the end it is between the 2 partners

Sure, but there are 3rd parties who opinion of me is important. My direct family, and friends for example.

 

[Sweex]

You can ajust your protocols for when your kids or vanilla people are around. For examlle talking with 2 words towards your Master even in a vanilla surrounding would not seem out of place. It may even seems like you have a healthy and respectfull relationship.

Protocols can have exceptiins to the rules.

Take greeting by the door.
If no children are at home and there are no visiters you wait nude on your knees by the door.

but if that is the case you can just be taking your Masters coat and give him a kiss on cheek.

Ofcourse good communication is key here!